It's a wonderful life....

Levi - Day 8 - Dr. Jeykl and Mr.Hyde

2012-02-02T08:51:00.000-08:00

Oh my Levi Malachi!!! We have officially entered into a whole new world of pet care! From all outward appearances - Levi is still just the cutest little bulldog that he has always been - a little mischevious and crazy eyed but calm and well behaved most of the time.....ALL of this has changed since the hospital stay - he now has that wild eye look pretty much all of the time he is awake.

We believe that the combination of all the meds he is on coupled with the kidney failure progressing that the little fellow is just coping the best way he can. However, lashing out at Lil Ben is not the answer - neither Levi or Lil Ben need to be fighting and not to mention the human that gets in the way....Monday it was me - last night it was Coach Burns. Both of us are sporting punctures and bruises that look pretty ugly.

We have addressed this with our vets and Levi started doggie valium last night for his tremors/shakes and he is hoping that will take the edge off of Levi's anixety. Sure wish that Levi could talk and tell us what to do - wouldnt that be fabulous??

So now we battle this terrible disease and we battle to get our household back to the peace that it once had. Behavior modification/training/specialist is not the best option for a dog that is not feeling good.... We hate to keep him from the other dogs but we are prepared to do so if the meds cant control his new urge to attack.

Levi gets meds every morning and more meds at night - restricted diet - and Friday we will start fluids at home everyday. His sleep patterns are also off due to the tremors waking him up...

Quality of life?? He still loves his ball, loves to be petted, loves to eat, still climbing stairs to be where everyone else is, still our precious Levi - until in the blink of an eye he displays his disgust with the fact that he is dying and starts fighting like a dog literaly.

Isnt he a lot like us? When we have had enough - dont we do what is natural to us? Scream, cry, get angry, hurt someone with words - all because we are in pain and we are self-asborded at the moment....Then the smoke clears and we are sorry for what we have done....Levi Malachi - we love you! We are going to love you through this!

Thank you Lord for showing me the error of ways through a little bulldog's pain! Give me the strength to be example you would have me to be! Thank you for loving me despite the meanness that I spew out so often.

Levi - Day 7 - Sunrises and Appetites

2012-01-31T19:56:00.000-08:00

What a beautiful sunrise I saw this morning! God's painting is never the same from day to day and sometimes it is so exquisite that I just have to stare in amazement! Thank you Lord for this morning!

I am still not sleeping through the night - I have the urge to check on Levi several times - just to make sure he is resting comfortably. He had a difficult night last night - when he tries to sleep the tremors or shakes seem to wake him up once they start. I have discussed with the doctor and he says this is another sign of the renal failure - prescribing us something in the am to help him rest.

Amazingly though, he does not fight getting his meds - he gets quite a few each morning and each night now....he is such a good patient! We are seeing a sudden bit of violent behavior (fighting with Ben) that has not been an issue before...Could be side effects of the meds or he could just be acting out his frustrations - we are monitoring the situation and addressing with the doctor - cant have that happening! Prayer are needed as we try to regulate all that is going on in that little body!

Doctors have told us that we will know when the end is near - the appetite will fade, the excessive drinking of water will stop, the seizures will increase and his eyes will say LET ME GO..... However today is NOT that day!

Thank you Lord for Levi's starving appetite -what a refreshing sight to see today!!! We could not fill him up! Now he is sleeping soundly and all is well! Happy, full and resting - tonight we are not worried about tomorrow - we are just loving the moment and we could not ask for more. Thank you Jesus!

Levi - Day 6 - The Specialist - Sad Day

2012-01-30T18:01:00.000-08:00

Before I begin my rant on how I feel tonight - let me first thank ALL the professionals that have ministered to Levi the last few days! Thank you to the doctors, the techs, the receptionists, and the cashiers - you all handled us with compassion and care - I saw the look in your eyes when you delivered the news that was not the news you wanted to deliver! Thank you Lord for blessing us with these folks - we saw your work through them...They loved us and they cared for us and they showed us compassion on the good days and on the bad ones!

The internal medicine confirmed the diagnosis of our vets. Levi's kidney issue is nothing that we could have prevented - it is congential - he was born this way! Bless his heart - all his life his kidneys have been functioning abnormally and all the other organs in his tiny body have been overcompensating for it. If only we had known, perhaps we could have started to control it medication earlier but the obvious signs (drinking too much water) were not anything that we knew to be on the lookout for - he always drank a lot of water.

Let me take a moment to say this also - our breeder who is also our friend - did not intentionally sale or breed a dog that was not 100% - She had no way of knowing either! Levi had a 100% clean bill of health when we got him - she is in NO WAY to blame for any of this! We love her and will continue to thank her for the blessings of Arthur, Lil Ben, Annabelle and precious Levi!

So now to how I feel tonight....SAD SAD SAD and SAD.... My heart is broken and my game face is gone....tears flow abundantly. We have the answers we were searching for and over the course of the next few days we will have a hospice plan in place to make the most of the next few days, weeks and perhaps (Lord willing) months.

No more words tonight! Just hugs and tears - the two seem to go hand in hand now

Levi - Day 5 Sunday Night! Praise the Lord for the little things!

2012-01-29T17:54:00.001-08:00

WOW!!! We stand in amazement that we were allowed to bring Levi home tonight!!! Here is what happened - Levi's veins are blown and will not support an IV - they tried twice today to get it going again....Levi was restless in the cage - obviously bored with being caged up! When we got the call that we could come visit tonight - we were told that he had been given all his meds for the night and we could take him home if we promised to bring him back in the am!!!!

I dont know who was happier - Levi or us!!! What an unexpected blessing - we were bringing our baby home (if only for a little while)!!! Tomorrow will bring all the things that we talked about earlier today but for tonight - LEVI IS HOME!!!!

Thank you Lord for unexpected mercies!! Thank you for one more night of a little heaven here on earth! You must have know how bad we needed it....Thank you!

Levi has his ball and is sleeping soundly - Coach Burns is smiling and me - well tonight it is tears of joy and I could not ask for more....

Levi - Day 5 Sunday morning

2012-01-29T17:37:00.000-08:00

It is Sunday - a beautiful day in Alabama - a day of rest and worship - a day to enjoy the Lord and all he has blessed us with! Yet among all that - something is missing - Levi is not home! He is in a cage recieving fluids and antibiotics and seizure controlling meds - alone and alone. I am sure that he wonders what he did to be left there! Yet he did nothing wrong and neither did we...

We are good responsible dog owners - we feed them, we vaccinate them, we bathe them, we play with them, we talk to them - WE LOVE THEM - somehow - we do deserve this and neither does he....but LIFE down here is NOT FAIR.

Oh how we long to bring him home - to see him run chasing his ball, to see him snuggle as he gets ready to slumber the night away. Tomorrow will be another day of blood tests and level checking but no matter the results we are bringing him home - he needs to be with us and we need to be with him. We have made the decision - we know that 75% of his kidneys are not working and that is not changing keeping him in a cage so we are bringing him home.

Dont misunderstand me - we are going to continue to fight for his long term well being but we also believe that this little fellow needs to be loved by us in his home surroundings.

What will the next few days brings? A referral for an ultrasound to start with? A specialist? Maybe then we will have some answers - are his kidneys deformed? Does he have two kidneys? Do they look normal? Can we take one of them out? So many questions - praying for some answers!

This is new territory for us - never before have we had the need for a dog specialist and expensive treatment but now we open the door in order to gain answers and prolong his life!

We take the challenge backed with the love and support of our family, our friends, our facebook supporters and bulldog lovers everywhere! Thank you all for your prayers and your concerns and your encouragement! We are praying that each step of the way that the Lord will guide us because we cannot do it without him!

Show the way Lord to bring our Levi home- this we humbly pray in Jesus name! Amen!

Levi - the beginning of the end

2012-01-28T16:08:00.001-08:00

Oh I dont know where to begin....Let me introduce you to our precious Levi, aka Little Bit, aka Ball Boy, aka Crazy. He is our 1 1/2 year old English Bulldog that is the full brother to Lil Ben (who is not so little) and he is the funniest bulldog we have ever owned! He loves to play with balls - he does not do the traditional catch and give back but he does everything with his ball. All you have to do is say - where's your ball and he knows exactly where he left it....

He is clumsy, he eats too fast, he steals toys, he loves attention, he hangs out on the stairs, he has stolen our hearts, he chases squirrels, he is so full of life and now...he is dying of kidney failure. How? Why? What? When?

Questions, questions and more questions - tests, tests and more tests. IV fluids, antibiotics, vets, vet techs, cages and nights away from home....waiting, waiting, waiting!

You heard me when I said he was 1 1/2 years old - not 10 or 8....He is just a baby and he should not be having these issues! Our hearts are broken and it is so very hard to think straight right now. Tears, tears, tears and more tears - we cant even talk out loud about him without sobbing!

According to our vets (who we think are the best and who have handled all our dogs since 2004) Levi is in acute renal failure. The blood work shows that approximately 75% of his kidney function is gone and will not recover. Imagine the shock on our faces before the tears started to fall. Just a few weeks earlier, he had gotten a clean bill of health on his yearly checkup.

So after days of fluids and antibiotics, he is not better. The numbers have not improved enough. What do we do now? How do enter this chapter of our lives? How long can he live? What about the quality of life? Why does this hurt so bad? Why do we feel so helpless?

The next few days will be full research and consultations and additional doctors and ultrasounds. We will document it all on this blog so if you are not an animal lover - you might not want to read my post going forward.

We are better people because we have been loved by a dog! Their love is unconditional and ever present! Their loyalty is like no persons. Even when sick, all they want to do is please their master. No one on this earth cares for us like the dog does - this love is the way God loves us - unconditionally always and forever. If you have never loved and been loved by a dog, I urge you to try it. You will be so blessed! You might even see the handiwork of God - we sure did!

Sweet dreams my little Levi - we are going to do everything we can to make the remainder of your life here on earth full of love and happiness with as little pain as possible! Thank you Lord for blessing us so and if it is your will, please heal our little buddy!
Lead the way Lord - our eyes are leaking and it is SO hard to see! You alone are God and we worship you in the good times and in the bad!

Turning the page....

2011-06-21T12:06:00.000-07:00

To say that life has been difficult in our household over the last few years would be an understatement. To say that we are still blessed beyond measure would also be an understatement. So let me begin by praising God - who gives and takes away BUT never stops loving us.

Many of my postings have been sad lately - this is because I am sad. I know that the Lord tells us to rejoice in all things - I am trying. Believe me - I am trying to rejoice.

Rejoicing in this world is SO VERY HARD. We live in a cruel place. A place where working hard and doing your best does not get you any respect and basically places you as doormat for folks to continue to use you. A place where illness runs rampant and most folks dont care that you are ill or try to help you in any way.

I have been one of those folks in the past - one that is cold, uncaring and judgemental even but I have seen the error of my way. Lord please forgive me for not taking time to check in on folks that I know are hurting whether physically or emotionally. Lord forgive me for placing more stock in myself than I ever should....my stock is worthless without you Lord. Lord - thank you for breaking my heart to get me to see that it is NOT about me at all....

Joy comes in the morning

2011-03-19T20:24:00.000-07:00

"The darkest hours means dawn is just in sight. Weeping only last for the night. Hold on my child...JOY COMES IN THE MORNING!"

I have been taking a walk down memory lane these past couple of days and my, oh my, what a year it has been for us! Life keeps throwing us curve balls and we are exhausted. So I thought that if perhaps I wrote most of it down - then the weeping will stop and JOY will come in the morning.

Life changes (that I would not have chosen for us)

Jesse leaving for the Phillippines - mother grieving so. Long distance relationship are just not the same as having one at home!

Darryl's health issues - I cant remember a day this past year that he was feeling well - three hospital stays and a body that will not cooperate any longer like he wants it too. Long suffering and pain - I wish that I could take it away from him.

Major house remodel due to damage from water - huge financial cost to us - with the latest whammy being a check due to the IRS...

Loss of our precious Arthur - during the midst of all the renovations - the very dog that God used to make us a family was taken from us. Oh how our hearts still ache.

Children leaving the nest - this day was always supposed to come but no lie it is hard. The house seems so quiet now.

Looking around our small life - changes have come in our health, our jobs, our church and church family, our home, our families...Some good, some really good, some bad, some really bad!

There are days when I petition the Lord to come on. Then I am reminded that is totally selfish of me. The Lord will come when He is ready and the time is right. He will not put more on us than we can handle and we will remain faithful!

Probably the most comforting verse in the bible to me during the bad times is this..
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

Meanwhile.... in the midst of my trials....the Lord is at work! So we will remain faithful, we will praise and give thanks, and we will work until He returns!

No way!!! I'm 48???

2011-01-12T07:00:00.000-08:00

OK now - quit playing tricks on me! I am not 48 today - surely I am still 24 or 25....After all, am I not still going strong - running with a million projects? Did I not just dance my heart out and my booty off (OK that is an exaggeration) to the Hustle Bustle as Tammy Naut Baum in the Christmas play? Seriously - when did I get middle age? There is no gray in my hair (thanks to my wonderful stylist)! No one can tell that my cute glasses are bifocals....really 48???? No way - I don't believe it!

I see me as........ wow I am getting old. I am 48 - I have grown children. I am a great aunt. Oh wait - I see wrinkles now - I have always called them love lines...not laugh lines as I got several of them through hard loving times! I see retirement in the future (NO WAY - this cant be on the horizon - not in 20 years)...

All kidding aside - I don't feel 48 (whatever that feels like). I do feel blessed and I must share with you the one thing that I know that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt whether I am 24 or 48 0r 96. Jesus Christ died for me - he is my personal saviour and I have the promise of eternal life with him!

It is my prayer that you know Him too! If you don't, I will be glad to share him with you! His promise is open to all no matter what your age is.

I want to see you in heaven with me - I will still be trying to convince you that I am not 48 and that I am much younger than my birthday reflects. You can laugh with me or at me but it wont matter which because you will be there in heaven with me and that is ALL that matters!!!

So for now - I will be 48 if you let me tell you about my Jesus!

Happy Birthday Lil Ben!

2011-01-07T07:47:00.000-08:00

Wow - Lil Ben - you are two years old today! My my - you have seen so much in your two years here... You found a best friend when you came to live with us - Arthur more or less tolerated you but you loved him! All too soon, he departed this life unexpectedly and you were lost for a while! I will never forget the look on your face as you went room to room looking for him....and oh how we still miss him.

Then, we brought Samson home to stay with us - a 6 year old beautiful rescue. I was so sure that you would become best friends...little did I realize at the time that you were miserable from day one. You withdrew from us and anger became part of your everyday life...a side of you that we had not ever seen before. After all, you had always been a very loving dog. Still we tried everything to make our house a home again but you and Samson could not get along. Despite behavior modification and medicines, neither you nor Samson were happy. Things escalated and soon you guys were fighting all the time...we had to keep you seperated and still you tried to fight through the gates....Oh what a sad time that was too! The decision had to be made and it broke my heart for I loved Samson so much - but he was returned to rescue after almost four months- the best thing for him and still we hurt.

Samson has been gone almost a week now and finally I am beginning to see signs of the old Lil Ben return. Last night you even got in the bed for the first time in months and laid your head on my legs - just like you use to do. You have even started getting up with me each morning again - you will be happy again!

Lil Ben - you are a precious precious member of our family! We love you! Happy Birthday!!!!

Seems like yesterday...

2011-01-03T17:33:00.000-08:00

Seems like only yesterday they were chasing each other through the house...laughing and squealing while playing hide & seek. Nanny did her best to keep the house straight but when Ashley and Alex played - look out...there was always a mess and there was always noise...lots of noise... Oh how I long for those days again.

And now the house is quiet - erie quiet. Their rooms are empty - most all of their stuff is gone and never have I felt so out of place in my own home. Is this the way a mom is supposed to feel when her children leave home to start their own adult lives? When does the mom realize that this is the new norm?

When did they grow up? When did I get old? I don't feel old - certainly I am still in my 20s aren't I? How did time pass so quickly? Seems like I blinked and they were grown....

Lord I pray that I have prepared them for this world! Lord I pray that you will keep watch over them as they attempt to conquer life for themselves. Lord I pray that you will keep them focused on your tasks and the future life in heaven. Lord I pray that they will always know that their mother loves them to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond; yesterday, today and tomorrow! Just like your love for us -endless, selfless and eternal - may they remember that you will always be there for them.

And one more thing, Lord, thank you for giving me two awesome kids - You have blessed me so much more than I deserve and I will be eternally grateful!

Now...this old mother will have to find something new to do...until such time that she is needed again.

That special night....

2010-12-16T05:38:00.000-08:00

As I sit here reflecting on the past few weeks, I am overcome with emotions! Most of you know that Night in Bethlehem 2010 is over now. After months and months of planning, weeks and weeks of preparing, countless nights spent at the church over the last month, we now can place this years production in the history books of Wilton Baptist Church.

This was our fourth year of telling the wonderful story of the birth of Jesus Christ and in my opinion -our best year yet! The weather was perfect - cold and clear! The cast consisted of God fearing Jesus loving Christians dedicated to following the commands of Go and Tell. The behind the scenes workers were so faithful to the project despite health issues and inconveniences. As the director, I could not ask for more....I love my WBC family!

Each year, I try to see something different in the production so that I walk away more in love with the story than every before. This year was no exception. As I walked through each night, I began to compare the Bethlehem villagers to our modern day folks.

Here are a few of my observations:

1. Bethlehem villagers were hard workers - our nation was built on hard work.

2. Bethlehem villagers worried about paying taxes - don't we do that too?

3. Bethlehem villagers had personal problems - I certainly have my share of those

4. Bethlehem villagers smile and laugh - we do that - thanks to joy in our hearts

5. Bethlehem villagers wanted a savior - so do we.

I guess what I am trying to say is that they were no different from us in ordinary life. Sure we have more conveniences that they did - but they got to live during the time that our precious Jesus was born. Given the choice - which would you choose? Today or then?

I know that I would choose to live then if given the choice. Just the mere re-enactment of that walk to the stable to find Baby Jesus this year brought tears to my eyes. I saw a mother so in love with her child that she glowed! I saw an earthly father protectively strong yet gentle! I saw an a beautiful baby loved by so many! Happy, healthy, loved, precious to all. At that very moment - I knew if I could feel this way about a re-enactment how much more would I feel if I was really there!

Night in Bethlehem 2010 is over but I am so in love with the story that I cant stop telling it! Jesus born in manager on that precious night in Bethlehem - the world would never be the same again! He is indeed the savior of this world. Praise the Lord that the word became flesh and walked among us! Thank you Lord for letting us tell the story again and again!

When the strong cant be strong anymore....

2010-11-12T06:29:00.000-08:00

Guess you could say that I am having a day, a week, a month, a year....WOW - the problems of this world have really been coming at me in 2010.....makes we wonder when it will end/why me/how did all of this happen? Questions, Questions - so full of questions and so ready for some good days again.

Now don't get me wrong - I am blessed beyond measure so much more than I deserve. But I was not promised an easy time on this earth and lately I am experiencing quite a bit of it~However, let me thank you Lord for all the blessings you have sent my way and the trials too for they will make me stronger. I humbly approach your throne with thanksgiving!

It is well known that I am the strong/responsible one of my family - the one that must keep it all together....the one that makes sure the bills are paid, the bellies are full, the problem solver - you get the picture. But what happens when I cant be strong anymore? What happens when I hurt? What happens when I cant think clearly? Who or where do I turn for help? When I cant talk to those who are closest to me - where do I go?

The answer is simple - I go to the Lord.....Oh how I have poured my heart out to him in the past few hours, days, weeks, months! I wish that I could say that I have audibly heard his voice but I have not. I do know, though, that he hears my every word....my every fear....my cries and my pain! He NEVER tires of listening to me! He always has time for me! Nothing I tell him goes any further - He does not lie to me!

So on the days when I feel like I just cant do anymore, on the days when my world is crashing down - I spend a little more time praying for me than normal. What a privilege it is to be able to confide in, talk to, love someone who will not hurt me! I find myself digging desperately into his word and apologizing for letting my outside busyness keep me from it as diligently as I use to.

Precious Lord, hear my prayer today - help me to live with the confidence that you want! Help me to live your way - not mine! Heal my heart and hold my hand! Thank you for loving me and listening to me! Thank you for the promise that I will live with you in glory and all will be good!

Three....two....FOUR??

2010-10-20T05:51:00.000-07:00

Samson
Levi

Well it has been a couple of months since I have put any of my thoughts in print....The renovations at our house are complete - this nightmare is finally coming to an end - Praise the Lord!!! We have grown stronger during this stressful time and we have been reminded daily not to take anything for granted. Life is short - love unconditionally - laugh daily - cry when necessary - know Jesus (if you don't - let me share him with you) - LIVE!

Have to share this story - it may bore you but it needs to be written so it can be remembered. In August 2010, we were a bulldog family consisting Arthur, Annabelle, and Lil Ben. A happy house full of unconditional love and slobbery kisses, belly rubs and zoomies! We were happy - no doubt about this!

Tragic circumstances took our precious Arthur from us on August 21 and we went from three to two bulldogs in a flash. With broken hearts and disbelief, we wandered around in a daze for a few weeks....always trusting in the Lord and knowing that He has a plan but very aware of the void in our day to day routine that hurt so bad. We still had Lil Ben and Annabelle, who were lost without Arthur, but the house was too silent and the spirit was not the same.

Darryl's birthday was coming up in September. I contacted the breeder that all of our bulldogs had come from just to see if she had anything that might help. It turned out that she had a puppy born June 28th that was the full brother to Lil Ben....this would be the last time that she would use the same male and female - In other words, we had the chance to get Lil Ben's full brother - she only had the one puppy left....This was the answer - Levi would come to live with us....then we would have three again....the plan was to wait until the repairs was finished at the house and to give him to Darryl for his birthday! It was to be a secret.... Excitement began to fill me and I began to smile again....This had to be what the Lord had planned for us...it was too perfect...God knew what we needed and I thanked Him for it...

Now here is where the story gets a little crazy and I become convinced that the Lord has a wonderful sense of humor. While waiting on the repair work to be done at the house and keeping the secret from Darryl about Levi, the Alabama English Bulldog Rescue needed volunteers for foster dogs - they were overrun with dogs needing a place to stay until there forever home could be found. We have been supporters of this organization as long as they have been in business but have not ever volunteered to foster a dog because we had three of our own. The picture was posted and my heart jumped....Samson - a six year old from Kentucky that had only had one owner his life was coming to rescue in Alabama. He was a beautiful dog - I don't know what drew me to him but I knew that I had to see him and love him - I could only imagine the pain of losing your home - the only home you had ever known - for circumstances that you had no control over.

So the dilemma - Levi the puppy was supposed to be coming to live with us and now Samson - the rescue - needed me as much as I needed him.....I can only imagine the Lord laughing at me as I pondered the situation over and over as to what to do....

Long story short - Samson came to live with us on Labor day 2010 - He is now a permanent member of our household - we love him and we are devoted to him!

Levi is coming this weekend to live with us also - we are excited and love him already too!

So the Burns household went from 3 to 2 to FOUR - and I believe that the Lord has shown us that we have enough love for them all and I believe that he got a really good laugh out of it too....Love cannot be contained to just one precious dog that taken too soon - Samson and all of his medical issues (story for another day) needed US and we needed him. Levi will make give Darryl countless hours of puppy love. We needed him too. Lil Ben, Annabelle, Samson and Levi Burns will know that they are loved - just like Arthur did.

So the Burns household is bullyfull again.....Praise the Lord!

A sign....

2010-08-29T18:21:00.001-07:00

Several times this week I have asked the Lord for a sign. As I have cried and prayed and cried and prayed, I asked Him to show me a sign that Arthur was ok and that we would be ok too. On Friday August 27, the memorial company emailed me the picture of the urn. Needless to say, I was very emotional at the finality of this...my precious Arthur was gone and I was a mess.

On my knees again, I prayed that the Lord would send me a sign that Arthur was fine and that this hurt would heal.... I said Lord send me a rainbow! I explained in my prayer that a new found friend of mine, Suzette, who I met through mutual bulldog grief, had sent me a book called Bill at Rainbow Bridge and it had helped me imagine good things to come. It was a book about a bulldog named Bill who had passed away and his owner was searching for answers and trying to figure out how to get on with his life despite the overwhelming sense of despair and anguish. It is a really good read for anyone who has lost a pet.

Anyway back to my story... As I cried and prayed to the Lord - I repeatedly asked for a sign - a rainbow to let me know that all was well... to help me be able to say "It is well with my soul"

I finished up my prayers and went back to working....it was Friday and Friday night lights began today - Coach Darryl and the Dallas County Hornets would be playing their first game of the season in a few hours.....I was supposed to be traveling to the game with a van full of my close friends and I was in no mood to go. I would have made an excuse and stayed home except for the fact that it would not be the right thing to do.... SO I forced myself to pack a bag of goodies, put on the best face that I could right now and go. Let me stop for a moment and say that I have some wonderful friends - they love me despite the tears, the bad moods, the temper, through the good and the bad - they are friends for life - they are my brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank you Lord for sending them to me!

With a broken heart and some chocolate bars - I climbed into the van and headed to watch the love of my life do what he loves - coach. The night started with a huge downpour of rain but we drove anyway. On the way, the van was full of multiple conversations, laughter, and giggles - I kept my sunglasses on to hide the tears - I did not want to be there....I wanted to be home crying for my Arthur.... All of a sudden, sweet Kelli said - Hey there is a rainbow....I looked out the window and there it was - the sign! The rainbow I had asked the Lord for.....Oh My!!! Praise the Lord!!!

Now you may think that this was just a coincidence or you may think that it was not sent by God.... BUT I believe that the Lord heard my prayer and felt my pain and answered my prayer! I believe that rainbow was sent just for me. I believe that the Lord hears me when I pray and I believe that He feels my pain. I believe that "all things work together for good for them that love the Lord..." I am so very thankful for the saving grace of Jesus Christ!

Coach Burns team won, the van ride home was blast, and I am so thankful for my friends and family!

The rainbow made me cry but My Arthur is OK and, in time, my family will be okay too. We miss you Arthur - you were a blessing to us! RIP sweet boy!

THANK YOU LORD! To God be the Glory - great things you have done!!

Arthur - the beginning

2010-08-24T13:47:00.000-07:00

With heavy heart that he is gone and we are still here - I feel compelled to put all of this in print so that someday when I cant remember all the details personally - someone will be able to read it to me. So here goes -"Arthur The Beginning"

Dooley Arthur Burns was born September 19, 2004 - he was one of six English bulldog puppies that J&J Bulldogs had for sale. I began to correspond with Ms. Judy, who has become my friend over the years, about purchasing one - after multiple visits to her website - I had picked out the one that I wanted - His name was Chubby. He was cute, fat, and lovable - everything that I wanted in a bulldog and more.

Darryl and I took a Saturday in early November to visit J&J and play with the puppies. All of them were so excited to see us - we meet all their dogs - including the parents of this litter JJ and Patti Labelle - we fell in love right there with the breed - even more so than we thought that we could. Judy let the puppies out of the pin into the viewing area and they all came running toward us except one - he decided to find something to get into - a rug to chew on - he had attitude. As I sat there holding and loving on Chubby - Darryl was fascinated with this little terror that was attacking a rug that was much larger than him....

From that very moment, Dooley (as Judy had named him) became a part of our family. No second glances - no changing his mind - no looking back - Darryl had found his boy. Darryl had found the DOG who would never know that he was a dog.

With eager anticipation, Arthur came to live with us right before Christmas in 2004. Now Ashley had already graduated from high school and was in her freshman year in college. Lex was in his freshman year at MHS. Neither one of them had much time for talking with mom anymore - they were busy. Darryl and I had only been married a couple of years and they did not spend much time with him either. Arthur arrived and everything changed. Suddenly all four of us were together quite often playing, hugging, loving this new four legged creature that would call our house - HOME.

Little did we know at the time what an impact this bulldog would have on our lives. We did not know that he would be the vessel that the Lord would use to mold us into a family. That he would be the tool that would make our house a home.

Thank you Lord for letting us love on him for the few years that he was on this earth. We will be eternally grateful for our time with him. How fitting an end to his life that on the day he died, we all needed to be together again in the same room as a family - Arthur would have loved it!

Change comes....

2010-03-31T08:54:00.000-07:00

I am creature of habit - I love my life! I have a routine that I enjoy and have been blessed beyond measure! My day begins in a fog (I am not a morning person) but once up and dressed - life is pretty much predictable for me - work, church activities, dogs, bible study/devotion, a little TV perhaps, bed. It may sound boring to you but it is good for me.

I say all of that to tell you that I do not like change - I want to run from it or hide from it; ignore it or refuse it BUT change comes no matter what! Sometimes it is a good change - like a new puppy or a new adventure. Other times it just plain hurts. This is one of those times.

In less than 24 hours my brother, Jesse, will be boarding a plane leaving the United States for a new life in the Phillippines. This is his choice - no one is making him - not his career or such. He decided to leave the life that he has known here since his birth. He is leaving his children and his grandchild, his mother, his family, his friends, his band for greener pastures - how could that be? Are there greener pastures elsewhere? Will he find what he is looking there? How can a man who has SO much here expect to find more elsewhere?

For weeks now, I have been praying for understanding - I dont have it yet but I will continue to pray. This change consumes my prayer life in so many ways - I pray for his safety, his happiness and his salvation. I pray for his children who feel abandoned now and who will have to face the problems of this life without an earthly father to call to run to their sides. I pray for his grandbaby, Zoey, who will grow up without knowing his touch, his laugh, the twinkle in his eye, the wonderful musician that he is. I pray for my mother who is heartbroken because both of her boys are no longer in arms reach. I pray for me as I know become daughter and son both in the affairs of my mother. I pray for our family as we approach the holidays with yet another one missing - may the Lord hold each and every one of us tightly during these trying times.

I cling to my faith and to the Bible especially the following verses....

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. Romans 8:28

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding Proverbs 3:5

A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I may never understand nor be able to imagine why this had to happen BUT

Jesse - I LOVE YOU! I am so glad that God chose to put you in my family!
Peace my brother!!

Meeting a mentor...

2010-02-12T10:58:00.001-08:00

For the past few years, I have had to desire to learn and study the Bible. The stronger my christian walk has become the more urgent calling has become. Growing up, I loved school with all the trimmings of studying, research papers and reading. All of that kinda got put on a back burner once I became an adult with a marriage, a career and children. Well now the kids are grown(praise the Lord) and the career is stable(praise the Lord) and the marriage is healthy also(Again PRAISE THE LORD)! The desire to be a student again has resurfaced and the chosen course is logically the Bible....A book that I adore and love to read but I long to understand and comprehend more...

Over the past few years, I have been very fortunate to participate in some outstanding bible studies that were written by Beth Moore. A small group of ladies at our church have done several including Fruits of the Spirit, When Godly People do Ungodly Things, Psalms of the Accent and Esther just to name a few. We have travelled to a couple of her seminars/conference and enjoyed her teachings along with some really good fellowship.

On Wednesday, Beth Moore was in town for a book signing and I decided to go. Now if you know much about me - I rarely miss work for anything...anything...but I felt led to do so this time and I indulged myself. I purchased the book and waited in line along with 300 hundred other women (maybe a man or two). It was a wonderful adventure....met some really nice ladies....one who just turned 80 and was living her dream to the fullest!!!

When the time arrived, we were given instructions as to not hold Beth up - no pictures, no personal talk, etc...the standard bookstore info for authors. But when Beth arrived - she was different. She was a normal just like us.....

Not only did she sign each and every book - she hugged each lady - talked with each lady - listened to each lady...you get the picture. She gets it....it is not about fame or fortune for her...it is all about showing Christ to the world one person at a time....one smile, one hug, one laugh, one good hair day, one life to live for our savior!

I had a great time and left the experience with exactly what I needed. Thank you Beth Moore for your service to the Lord! Thank you for being real with everyone! Thank you for not only talking the talk but for walking the walk. Your witness is real!

This is how it is supposed to be....I pray that the world see it through me also. This is my prayer o Lord....that when the world sees me -they really just see you!!!!

Thank you Lord for Darryl!

2010-02-05T05:55:00.001-08:00

What a tragic week this has been, our community has lost two great men - one to colon cancer and one to a mass heart attack. Both were Christians, both teachers, both high school coaches, both too young to be taken from their families and loved ones.

If you know anything about my life - you can see why this hits home so easily. As I am married to a high school football coach whom I adore with every ounce of my being. He too is a Christian, battles a incurable disease and suffers from chest pain from time to time especially during the season of play. The thought of losing him is unbearable and the pain is insoleable.

What would I do? What will these families do? What will the young people effected do? It my prayer that they would take refuge in Lord - comfort in knowing that these men they love are in heaven - free of all pain -they have stood in the presence of the Lord. They are feasting at a magnificent table and they are home!

For those that remain, the days ahead will be blur for a while - they will need the love, support and shoulders of so many. They will need Jesus! It is in our weakness moments that God carries us if we let him.

I know not when the time will come for Darryl or I to be called home but I do know where we are going and that gives me comfort, hope and joy. I must remember that this is just a temporary home!

So for today - rest in peace Coach Adair and Coach Thompson. And to Coach Burns - I love you more than you will ever know!!!

3:00 am and wide awake...

2009-11-18T05:21:00.000-08:00

Most anyone who knows me knows that I am running at full speed most all of the time. So sleep has never been a problem for me. When I finally get in the bed at night - I am out like a automatic switch until the alarm clock goes off. However, at 3:00 am (one and a half hours before the clock is to go off) I am wide awake yesterday.

Fighting it was no use - I was awake - no chance of going back to sleep. So I let me mind begin to access the daily list of things to do and found that this would be a good time to talk with the Lord about a few things. Now normally my prayers always include request for various folks that are having difficulties, the world that we live, the problems of the day and of course a short thank you for all the blessings in my life Amen.

But this morning was different. As I still laid in bed, I could not help to talk with the Lord about all my blessings. A wonderful God fearing man sound asleep beside me, a cozy place to sleep, Lil Ben and Arthur snoring away on the bed with us. Annabelle just outside the bedroom door sleeping on her zebra pillow, in the room across my beautiful Jesus loving daughter in peaceful slumber - who can ask for anything more. My talk continued with thankfulness of a nice house, transportation, jobs that put food on the table, a memory that allows me to use the poverty of my past to help others now.

I thanked Him for my health and for the health of my family. I thanked Him for my son who also knows the Lord and has tender heart. For my friends who are truly just angels that He gave me to help get me through the trials and temptations of this world that we live in.

I found myself with tears streaming down my face for I realized that I am blessed far far more than I deserve to me. I apologized for taking so much for granted and not always taking time to give Him the credit He deserved for my life.

I ended my quiet time with a final thank you for His son - how hard that must have been to send Jesus to carry the weight of the world literally on his shoulders to save a poor sinner like me. As the songs - when He was on cross I was on His mind.

May I never take this this for granted especially when the world steps in and tries to show me different. My prayer will always be - "Lead me, guide me along the way. For if You lead me I cannot stray. Or just open my eyes that I may see I am lost if You take Your hand from me. I am blind without Your light to see. Lord just always let me Thy servant be. Lead me 0' Lord, won’t You lead me. Lead me, guide me along the way. For if You lead me I cannot stray!" Amen!

Again time has flown by..

2009-11-17T11:59:00.001-08:00

How did I get so far behind (see picture above) on my postings? I have so much to put in print that I am afraid now that I will leave out some of the details.....It is now November and the last time I posted was about something that happened in March... I am going to try and recount the major things that has happened over the last 6 months in the coming days....so much to remember! Hope this posts are not boring but they are so precious and important to us.

One thing I do know is that the Lord has blessed us tremendously this year - sure we have had our share of trials and difficult situations but we have also had numerous victories and we are still careful to give God the glory in the good and the bad.

The one thing that really needs to be said today - is this - THANK YOU LORD - for all the blessings in my life, for my family, my friends, my health, my job, my dogs, and so many other things but most the number one reason that I thank You is for Your son - Jesus Christ- who died for my sins and who saved me from the eternal fires of Hell.

Picture perfect...Snow in March in Alabama

2009-07-17T10:29:00.000-07:00

Alabama does not see much snow so when we got a good dusting of it on the first Sunday in March 2009 - everyone got their cameras out. I must say that this was the first time in my forty plus years on this earth that I had been to church while the snow was falling. The picture attached is at the back of our church- Wilton Baptist and it includes an old building that is no longer in use (actually it is to be removed from the site soon). However, it sure made for a perfect picture on this beautiful Sunday morning.

I stand amazed at the wonder of God's endless imagination - his artistry is beyond words. If earth can look this beautiful - I can only imagine the wonders of heaven.

Counting my blessings...

2009-07-15T12:09:00.000-07:00

Last night as I was traveling home from work - in a fury to get to a meeting that I had called - a meeting that was important and I hated to be late. I was stuck in terrible traffic - the kind that does not move at all. I am not a patient person - I was late and needed to be on my way and yet here I was stuck in traffic no way to exit the interstate.....I fumed and fumed....waited and waited - finally we were slowly moving at a snail pace....slowly...slowly. As a reached the accident site, I was horrified at the thought of the families that had just been changed forever. The cars involved were unrecognizable -clothes were scattered in the trees - lives were lost. Chills ran all over me and suddenly I thanked God for the traffic, for the alone time in my vehicle, for everything. I am so selfish - I prayed for forgiveness and I counted my blessings.

Tomorrow I will probably be fussing about the traffic again but today I am thankful for all the obstacles that drop into my life......

GOD IS SO GOOD all the time!

Where did time go?

2009-07-10T07:48:00.000-07:00

Where have I been? Why have I not updated this blog? Where did the time go? Just yesterday it was March - we were waiting on the new love of our life to come home....now it is July - Lil Ben is SIX months old....Was I kidnapped by aliens? How did I neglect posting for sooooooo long? I have loads of information to share....good times, bad times - all of them GLORY TO GOD times.... Get ready your are fixing to be on Burns information overload.... I will recapture the last 4 months soon....Life is changing for me in the next couple of weeks and I will have plenty of free time to blog...

Remember God is good all the time and all the time God is good! Have a wonderful day!!!

Anticipation!!!!!

2009-03-13T15:16:00.000-07:00

By this time tomorrow, the Burns household will have a new member. We are SO excited....a precious new life to love and adore! It has been rather lonesome since #1 son moved out to college and #1 daughter is a full-time working woman with her own agenda. Now don't get me wrong - we have TWO wonderfully funny english bulldogs at home -patiently waiting for us at the door - we don't know what we would do without them. Cant imagine life without them....but once you have become smitten with a bulldog - one or two is not enough........SO tomorrow we bring home our THIRD - Benjamin Athens Burns - aka -Lil Ben - aka - Big Ben (he weighs 13 pounds and is 8 weeks old)!!!!! We are so in love with him already and we have yet to meet him. The breeder that he is coming from (same one as our other bullies) has done an excellent job of keeping us posted on his growth.

Tonight is like the night before Christmas and you dont think that morning is ever going to come! We are so blessed - I cant say that enough! And tomorrow - we indulge in pure satisfaction of loving another bulldog - God is SO good!

God is so Good!....

2009-03-13T05:24:00.000-07:00

All the time and yet most of the time we take it for granted. This week has been an emotional rollercoaster for the Burns household. I have never seen someone so certain of what they were called to do on this earth like my husband. Coaching football has been his one and only desire as long as I have known him. He loves it! The past couple of years have seen a series of ups and downs as to his career - going from an all time high to an all time low with no fault of his own to blame. Anyway, he patiently waited on the Lord to show him the way. He responded with all the actions that a Christian should seeking wisdom and strength- praying faithfully for God to reveal the much needed answers - bottom line - he trusted in the Lord totally and completely.

To make a long story short and I still cant reveal the ending yet, I have seen God's handiwork in my husband over the last few years and I have never been prouder to say that I am in love with a God fearing - God loving man who seeks to honor and praise the Lord in all that he does and especially in coaching football.

Love is....

2009-02-13T08:59:00.000-08:00

...the saving grace of Jesus Christ!
...the way a newborn baby skins feels
...the familiarity of home
...good friends who always have your back
...children who grow up to be special adults -I have two of the best!
...a husband who you would choose over and over again no matter what
...a family of friends and loved ones that you cannot imagine life without
...freedom - the price of which cost so much
...the wagging tail of an English Bulldog
...the commitments that we make and dare not break
...heaven with the ones gone before waiting on us
...THE GREATEST OF ALL THINGS!

Happy Valentines Days to all!

A Night in Bethlehem

2009-01-22T10:01:00.000-08:00

For the past couple of years, I have had the privilege of being involved in one of the most rewarding and satisfying productions of my life, A Night in Bethlehem. Wilton Baptist Church - a very small Southern Baptist Church just outside of Montevallo AL - is home to us. On an average Sunday morning the sanctuary has about 70-80 folks worshipping. So a production of any size can be overwhelming to say the least. They are costumes to make, sets to build, food to prepare, drama roles to be filled, parking duties to attend - you get the picture....I am so proud of our Wilton folks - we had 55, yes I said, 55 participant on each night of the production - which consisted of one closed performance for WBC only and three nights open to the public. WOW - AWESOME - WILTON!!! That is amazing to say the least - especially during the busiest time of the year - the holiday season. Wilton members from the youngest - Ella (infant daughter of Dave and Amanda Roper) to the oldest - Gran Fran Hunt (who is a young 80's) gave of their time, their talents, their smiles, their money, and most importantly their love of the Lord...I could not be more proud.

The Bible tells us to spread the good news of Jesus Christ and his saving power - yet that is sometimes hard in our day to day working world but for three/four nights in December 2008 everyone involved with A Night in Bethlehem was doing just that - easily and proudly and boldy.

Happy Birthday Jesus - may we always continue to tell the wonderful story of your life, death and resurrection!

Thank you Wilton Baptist Church - what a testimony you have!

2009-01-21T10:23:00.000-08:00

Well as the title of my blog states....it is a wonderful life. I am so blessed that I cant begin to tell you everything. I have a precious relationship with Jesus Christ - my savior. I am married to a awesome man who keeps me safe here on earth. God has richly blessed with me with two children - a boy and a girl. Both are adults now and I could not be prouder of them.

Completing our family are our pets - Arthur (the King) and Annabelle (the sweetheart). They are both registered English Bulldogs and we are in love with the breed. Now we are thinking about adding another one to our family......