How can I help?

I am pretty much never at a loss for words….(go figure) but right now I am struggling with what to say and what to do to help Coach Burns….you see I a fixer – a person who wants to fix things and restore balance – a person who thrives on unity and a person who does not mind carrying the load as long as I am able. That is why it breaks my heart to see a crossroads in his life – one that can’t be fixed by me.


To say that Coach Burns has had a couple of rough years is not accurate at all. It has been way more years that a couple – try a decade. One illness leads to another which leads to another and so on. Yet his is so young in age and that causes the mental heartache to surface also. He is at a crossroads in his life and needs support from his family, his loved ones, his friends, and most importantly HIS GOD. It is when we are at our weakest that Satan is lurking ready to take over and invade our minds. We CANNOT let that happen.

So again – I ask – How can I help?

1. I can pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and when I think that I have prayed enough, I can start praying all over again. What a wonderful way to talk to the Lord and some times it is with tears, others with anger, others with broken hearts, and sometimes laughter. I can pray and NO one can steal that away from me.

2. I can dive in the scriptures – I can surround myself and Coach Burns with uplifting bible verses and verses that offer the promise that things will be ok again. Our house is soon to be covered in sticky notes (glad they come in such cool colors – LOL).

3. I can love him like Jesus would – oh how I love Coach Burns – no one would doubt that for a second but to love him like Jesus loved is a goal that envelops me. Love him in the good, love him through the bad, the weak, the weary, the angry, the why me’s?, in the pain and the distress of these earthly circumstances….Yes I can love him like Jesus!

4. I can listen without judging the words that come from his mouth – knowing that hurt causes us to sometimes say discouraging things or negative outlooks. This will be very hard – as a fixer wants to fix and sometimes he just needs me to listen without trying to make it better.

5. I can stay healthy myself by eating right, getting enough rest, relaxing more and venting to my dear friends when the need arises. This will be difficult for me also but if this is part of what is needed to help Coach Burns then I can do it!

6. Finally and so very importantly – I can trust in what the Lord has promised! Below are just a few of my favorites:

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose

And perhaps my most favorite verse of all:


John 16:33
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Ok Lord, I am ready to help!

Non-renewed

To say that I HATE those words is an understatement....I loathe, despise, and spew them out of my mouth.  Confirmation once again that this Babylon world we live in is for the healthy, the wealthy and the beautiful and this disgust me so. 

Why do bad things happen to good people?  Why is life so unfair?  Why do the sick have to pay so dearly not only with their physical ailments but with their emotional well being also? Why is Satan always lurking to get his foot back in the door of our hearts?  For those of us who are saved, he cant steal our salvation but he can ruin our witness and he can hurt our impact on the kingdom.  Why does he keep bothering us so?

Well Satan - take this warning - you are messing with someone I love and you will not win.  You pitiful fool - get away from us.  You see whatever you do down here to us means NOTHING...we are headed to eternal life in heaven with no illnesses, no favoritism, no politics and no evil is allowed.  We may be down right now but the Lord will guide us through this mess and we will be victorious again.

People are not looking at us to have it together - they are looking at what happens to us when we don't - Beth Moore.   Well keep looking because our GOD is much bigger than any non-renewed status!  We will not fall apart - we will stand on our knees and pray our way through this!

The waiting is the hardest part.....

“You take it on faith – You take it to the heart – The waiting is the hardest part!” Lord knows we have been here before and here we are again at a crossroads that is uncomfortable to say the least.

I am a planner – I plan everything in my life that I possibly can. Sometimes this is a good thing - like when you are going out of town, paying bills, grocery shopping, etc. Other times it can be a pain like when the schedule is too full, your body just needs more rest than you are allowing, etc…. you get the picture.

For a habitual planner, waiting to be able to plan is extremely hard - waiting for someone else to let you know what the deal is so that you can plan the next course of your life so to speak.

We are in that holding pattern at this moment and as many times as we have been here before – it still is upsetting and uncalled for in my opinion. To be honest – it just stinks like garbage! So while we wait – the questions of what if? Why now? Can we? What’s next? Will we? Why us? – all cannot be answered at this time and stress runs rampant despite our prayers of relief.

We know that everything is in God’s hands and we will have answers soon that will allow us to make decisions as to which turn we take and which road we will be traveling on next….A new adventure maybe or staying the course we are on currently. Whatever the outcome is our emotions are all over the place and we will welcome some sort of normalcy to return.

Lord – you know our prayer – we have prayed it at least thousands of times. Please give us the endurance, strength, emotional stability, peace and comfort as we wait. We know and we believe with all our beings that YOU are in control and you will reveal your plan to us in your time. Please do so gently so that we can grasp it and grow from it, guard our hearts as Satan is waiting to invade….Please take away the tears and clear the fog so that we may see clearly how to give you glory in the next chapter of our lives! We love you Lord and we thank you for loving us. We will serve you while we’re waiting… we will worship while we’re waiting….Amen

Am I selfish?

If I have to ask that question, then I must be ?  Here is my list of things I want...
1.  I want Coach Burns to be well, to have days without pain, without panic, without swelling and inflammation, and doubts as to whether he is the man he wants/use to be.

2.  I want Coach Burns to be happy -smiling and laughing - doing the things he loves the most - coaching football and playing with his bulldogs.

3.  I want Coach Burns to succeed as the spiritual leader of household. Satan continually attacks those who are weak (physically due to illness) and makes them think that they are worthless.

4. I want Coach Burns to enjoy his life down here - to feel like going on vacation, nights out, fellowships, and all the little things that most of us take for granted.

If wanting these things makes me selfish - then I know that I am.  For years now, we have been plagued with illnesses which leads to disappointment, job loss, emotional barriers, tough times and here are again right in the midst of the same issues.

Some days I feel like just giving up....Then I am reminded that trial and tribulations produce endurance, endurance develops strength of character and character enhances our hope of salvation and this hope will not disappoint....

 ^"Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

Lord, forgive my selfishness and strengthen me in this trial.  Forgive my wavering belief. Give rest to my weary soul and heal my man.  In all thing, your will be done and your love, grace and mercy will be sufficient for me.  Praise the name the of Jesus....Amen

What now?

What do I do now?  Why is my house so empty even though I have two other bulldogs?  Why does Annabelle have a huge tumor  in her abdomen now of all times?  Why does death hurt so bad? Why is Coach Burns still sick?  What does the future hold for our lives while here on this earth?  Why cant I sleep through the night?  What are you trying to tell me Lord?

Just a few questions that I seem to repeat over and over these days....the answers may never come but I will keep praying  and praying.....Faith the size of a mustard seed is all I need.....Lord fill me with your grace and mercy....Point me in the right direction.

I will serve you while I am waiting....I will worship while I am waiting....Please Lord - come and take us home.

Just another Levi memory.....

Prior to the last couple of weeks that Levi was here with us, every evening had the same routine. I was always the last one home from work – usually after they had eaten and were ready to nap for a while. Levi would hear my car pull up and he always met me at the door! Eager to greet me with his whole little (65lb) body with the smiling because he knew that after I petted him….the fun would being. I always said hello to him – patted his head and then said – Levi where’s your ball? That was the signal that we were fixing to play.


Every night he would run back into the den to get his ball so that I could chase him…He would do this for hours if his little body would let him. Playing with him was so much fun! On this particular night, he went running into the den and sat by the back door. Levi always knew where his ball was normally but he just sat by the door that leads to the patio.

I looked everywhere for his ball….down on my hands and knees looking under the sofa, the TV stand, behind the toy box, under the recliners, behind the sofa…etc…etc…etc. I even made Coach Burns look for it also. After we combed the den and could not find it…we went to the kitchen, to the bedroom, to the big bathroom.. You get the picture – we must have spent a good 45 minutes looking for the ball.

All the while, Levi was sitting by the door patiently waiting. I finally said – Lil Ball Boy tonight we are going to have to use a different ball because mom can’t find your favorite. I then asked Coach Burns if Levi needed to go outside because he was sitting by the door – he assured me that they went out after dinner and he did not need to go back out.

And again, Levi sat patiently waited – I offered him several other balls to play with – he would not have any of them and stayed by the door. I finally decided that he must need to go outside despite what Coach Burns had told me. I opened the door – it was pitch black outside and Levi took off into the back yard running like he was chasing a cat….he must have stayed out there 10 minutes or so….I went into the laundry room to start the nightly chore of washing clothes only to return to the den and find my precious Levi ready to play ball because he had found his ball….in fact he knew exactly where it was at all the time….I just did not pay attention and let him outside to get it. What a smart little fellow he was.

The moral of this story is sometime I get so caught up in trying to fix/find/help things myself that I don’t realize that there is someone patiently waiting to answer my cares and concerns, my troubles, my insecurities, my loneliness, my pain if only I would notice that HE is waiting by the door.

“Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28


Thank You Lord for patiently waiting on me! And for the stories that can be told thru a Lil Ball Boy

Go tell it on the mountain....AGAIN!

Night in Bethlehem 2011 appreciation dinner is this Sunday night (April, 29th) and my mind is full of feelings and words and memories….so in order to process everything and neatly store it away – I feel the need to write it all down.
This was our 5th year of telling the story of that wondrous night some 2000 years ago when Jesus came to earth as a baby to be our Savior! You would think that each year of telling the story would bring the same results and the same memories but that is not the case! God continues to grow us even though by now most of us can recite it all by heart!
Let’s take a walk through all the prior years of NIB – just a few memories that need not be forgotten.

NIB 2007 – the very first one for WBC – we were without a pastor and using pulpit supply at the time. There was some distress among the flock wondering in the dark without a visible shepherd to keep the herd in line. It was the most primitive of set designs as we attempted to reenact that special night for the first time as an outreach program. It took weeks to prepare for and we spent many long hours together! It came together and despite the weather and a few glitches – we successfully told the story night after night to the visitors. But the amazing thing that happened in year one was that God took a scared flock and transformed them into a family – a true family! We told the story of the love of God sending Jesus to save us and in essence was given that love for each other! – Priceless memories – Thank you Lord!

NIB 2008 – Bigger sets and live animals….fun fun fun for those in charge of the animals! Lots of hard work..beautiful tents and backdrops….cold, hot, rain – the show must go on and it did!! What a blessing it was despite the hard work and the weather! The story was shared and once again we grew closer to the Lord and to each other! This year yielded me a photo that will forever be one of my favorite pictures – Ashley as the angel, Lex as Joseph and Kathryn Ray as Mary! Thank you Ms. Sheila for capturing that memory on film!

 NIB 2009 – A new pastor and a new beginning as we gathered together once again to share the story for one more season! Lots of set building and reworking of the event but somehow again the Lord showed us how to grow in Him and as a family of God all with one purpose of sharing the gospel. Our first real live baby Jesus this year and he was beautiful! Numerous visitors remarked about the authenicty of having a real baby there. May we never forget that the baby in the manager was alive and well and grew up to be the savior of the world.

NIB 2010 – Expanding once again with awesome sets and lots of fellowship time preparing for the live nights! We brought life back into the old white building! We encompassed most of the church building this year and enhanced the outside dramatically. Most all of WBC contributed from set design, to cooking food, to character roles, to golf cart attendants, to ALL who participated – the numbers just kept growing. Again, we were blessed with a real baby to portray baby Jesus and his parents to fill the roles of Mary and Joseph – how beautiful the scene was – how real it felt to walk up to the stable and find a mother and father with true love for their baby laying there….goosebumps still today!

NIB 2011 – the 5th one – what a celebration! Bigger sets, more shops, 5 live nights, youth designated night, a cast of 75 including all support roles. Some families have made this a yearly tradition – some have been all 5 years (Praise the Lord) Some WBC folks have also made this a yearly tradition by spending most of November and December dedicated to preparing to share this story. After five live nights there were tears being shed that it was over and again the Lord drew us closer to each other and to him!

What does the next year bring – I don’t know? How could be possibly tell the story again? What would be different this time? What will make a difference in the lives of those that are visiting here? How do we make them understand the importance of this story – I don’t know but God does! It seems to me that God is using NIB to help WBC as much as He is using it to plant seeds in those who visit with us.

How do I know this? Let me share just one more story – in the 5th year at the manger a little boy (who had been to NIB four times) wanted to give baby Jesus a gift…He asked if he could leave his apple there for Jesus. Now anyone who know anything about babies knows that they cannot eat apples as newborns but that is not the point. The point is that young man – wanted to give back to Jesus something that he had and he did so with love! Just when you think that telling the story again cant surprise you – think again! God is always finding ways to amaze us and grow us and love us! Thank you Lord!

So I leave you with this….Go tell it on the mountain over the hills and EVERYWHERE! Go tell it on the mountain that JESUS CHRIST is born!!!