Friday, May 17, 2013

If I could save time in a bottle....

Anyone remember that song by Jim Croce - If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do is save everyday till eternity passes to spend them with you.....Well if I could save time in a bottle - I would save this past Sunday - Mothers Day 2013.

What a gorgeous day the Lord gave us - the weather was fabulous - sunny and warm with a breeze.  Both my children were in church with me along with Mom and Darryl - that in itself was so much more than I deserved.  After coming out of the worst week ever, I cannot put into words the emotional comfort I received this Mothers Day.

For a few hours - all the world was good, there was nothing worrying me, there was no pain, there was no panic in my stomach, there was simply joy - Joy that I was able to worship with my family, Joy that I still have my precious mother, Joy that both my kids were home, Joy that Ashley found the love of her life, Joy that we have a place to call home, Joy that we laughed and cried, Joy that Darryl felt well enough to sit with us at the table for a dinner, Joy that comes in the morning as the Lord promises.....

If I could save time in a bottle - moments like this is what I would save.  They are few these days but when they come - they arrive in grand fashion and this Mom is so grateful for the few hours that she was allowed to be normal!

As quickly as the the moments came,  they left and life returned to normal....but there is coming a day when the wonder of this day will be insignificant in milestones when we are all in heaven together!


For now though - it is moments like this that I thank the Lord for renewed hope, strength, and courage to face what lies ahead!  Thank you Lord for blessing me so!

Friday, May 3, 2013

The Last Time





If I had known that it would be the last time I would have…..

• Memorized every second so that I could replay it over and over
• Savored it so much more
• Relaxed
• Took a little more time to bask in it
• Bottled the passion in a room in my heart for safekeeping
• Made sure that he knew that he knew that there was no better
• Not taken it for granted

This may be the end of the chapter but definitely not the end of the story!

The Lord gives and takes away and still I will say ‘Blessed be the name of the Lord!”



Friday, November 30, 2012

Laughter to stop the tears!

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, my beautiful daughter Ashley got engaged to her longtime boyfriend Mike!  Yeah for them!!!!  So excited for their future life together and all of the possibilities that it holds! 

Now the fun begins....every mom has dreams for their daughters wedding - every daughter has dreams for their big day...oh the fun, fun, fun!  So why the tears????  Could it be that the precious little girl that I gave birth to 26 years ago is grown now, could it be that she will be gorgeous in that gown as she walks the aisle, could it be that she is opening a door that requires maturity and dedication that she cant begin to imagine until she walks through that door, could it be that Nanny wont be here to see what she always wanted, could it be hormones???  Who knows??

So I have decided to make every effort to stop the tears by LAUGHING....yes Laurel Burns said by LAUGHING.... so if you see me - tell me a joke, if you email me - please make sure to include something funny, if you hug me - smile and laugh with me.

So the plan for the weekend after the dress shopping is done and Lex has moved all of his items from his room ....watch National Lampoons Christmas Vacation and LAUGH!  Play with DD (devil dog) aka Georgia Rose and LAUGH!  Tell Coach Burns a joke....haha that is a laugh itself!!!  Spend Sunday with a bunch of youth from church and LAUGH (they always make me laugh at the things they say)....

If you have any other ideas....let me know.....otherwise I may have to buy stock in Kleenex!

To get the laughter started for today.....hope you enjoy this silly silly Christmas song a friend at work has gotten me stuck on!
Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey



La la la lal....yehaw...yehaw...it's Dominick the donkey!!!!


Monday, November 26, 2012

A pot of soup, a holiday meal and leaf blowing....

Each year at VBS we teach the children to watch for God.  We give them bracelets to wear that say just that.  We ask them everyday what their God sighting was and we get some generic answers sometimes but sometimes we get real ones also!

This Thanksgiving holiday found our household in our usual condition of illness - Coach Burns, while still recovering from knee replacement in early September, somehow contacted the flu virus.  Even though he had a flu shot, this nasty little bug did quite a number on his well being.  By Tuesday of Thanksgiving week it was decided that we would be spending Thanksgiving Day home alone....Now that may not seem like a big deal to you but truly it was to me.  You see I stay so busy working to supplement the loss of income from Coach Burns that I dont have a whole lot of time to visit with family and friends.  Thanksgiving, however, has always been a day of just good food, good fun, visiting and catching up...... except this year homebound with my partner who did not even feel like talking much less celebrating...

Let the pity party begin....so not like me but somethimes you just cant help it!  Sometimes you just cant get past the what if or how come or if only...  Thankful - yeah right??  Sure I am thankful for all that the Lord has blessed me with BUT a little part of me was resentful and angry and sad and lonely.....Satan was in my head and look out - Laurel Burns was weak and tired and tired and weak...to get thru this four day holiday help would have to come.

So I started to watch for God.....please God show yourself to me somehow...reassure me that you love me and that this is temporary....

The first God sighting came on Tuesday night when a sweet sweet lady friend of mine who offered me an entire crockpot full of soup that she had made.  My friend is a wonderful cook, a blessing to all who know her and the Lord uses her daily to show his love.  I admire her so much that I overflow with emotion to think that she thinks of Coach Burns and I as much as she does!  The crockpot full of chesseburger soup was enough for my office at work on Wednesday and we enjoyed a fellowship dinner together - something that does not happen much in our office.  Thank you God for showing yourself to me through Ms. Myra Stewart!

The second God sighting came on Thanksgiving Day when our pastor and his wife prepared and brought us Thanksgiving Dinner complete with cranberry sauce and all the trimmings!  I had planned on getting take out from Cracker Barrel for Thanksgiving dinner but once again God showed his love for us through this family that has blessed us for three years now with their friendship, their love and their prayers!  They go through so much pastoring a church and their compassion and love never ceases to amaze me.  I thank God for them and I am blessed to have them in my life! I believe I saw a Coach Burns smile when he ate his dinner - first one I have seen in a LONG time!  Thank you God for Brother Greg and Amory and for showing me that even on holidays sometimes non blood family is truly family!

The next sightings were brought to me through my longtime friends who there simply are not enough words to describe.  On Black Friday, I normally shop with daughter but she was out of town (getting engaged - imagine that -Wahooooooo!!!) so my dear sweet friend Sheila and I went treasure hunting - we spent the morning together and it made my soul dance!  She is without a doubt an angel - we had an great time treasure hunting and the treasure we found was priceless - time spent with friends cant be bought! Thank you Lord for sending Ms Sheila Hogge to lift my spirits and enjoy the day - I know that the Lord has used her time and time again to help me - she is a treasure!

And finally, leaf blowing....anyone who know where I live understands that we have more pinestraw and leaves than we have dirt and grass....always!  Coach Burns has not been able to keep up with the yard work for a couple of years now - we have done just enough to get by.  Sometimes me, sometimes Lex, but mostly it just gets neglected.  Yesterday after church, I made the comment at lunch that I was going home to blow leaves because the driveway was deep deep deep and it was dangerous to anyone who walked out there - not to mention the cars were skidding as you went in and out of the drive.  God sent his faithful servant Chuck Hogge to blow the leaves with a kind heart and a caring spirit and friendly love that was none other than that of Jesus....He quickly volunteered with a smile and an attitude that was contagious!  Instead of napping between services, he and his lovely wife spent the afternoon with me!  While he worked, we chatted and what a beautiful job he did!  No words can describe the friendship - tears of appreciation for all that the Hogge's have helped me through - they are pure angels sent to help me on this path that has been placed before me....Thank You Lord for blessing me with them!!! 

Jesus said “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.  By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” John 13:34-35


I believe that Jesus knows that Myra Stewart, Greg & Amory Sellers, and Chuck & Sheila Hogge are his disciples!  Thank You Lord for letting me see the love!

Friday, October 19, 2012

A new chapter....

Today we start a new chapter in our lives and I am excited.  Weeks ago, I never thought I would say those words again unless perhaps it was my time to leave this earth and meet my savior.  But that is another story for another day!

What a year 2012 has been for our household - loss of our two precious babies (Levi aka Lil Ball Boy and Annabelle) within 4 months of each other; Coach Burns job loss and disability at such a young age; total knee replacement just 4 weeks ago for him and the pre-cancerous cells for me only serve as a reminder that not all days are going to be good ones. 

Throughout all of our earthly circumstances - the Lord has comforted us with His undying love and His ability to send friends and loved ones to walk with us through the dark times.  We are forever thankful for the love that He has given us and for the folks that He has used to help us along. We would be so lost with Him and His people!

But today is a GOOD day!  Today we embark on a new adventure with a special "unconditional love bug"-   A seven week old brownish red English bulldog that will bring new exciting life back into our household. 

As I get ready to leave to make the trip to pick her up - a few tears for those we are missing cant help but flow.  Oh the memories are so precious!  Life down here will be exciting again and perhaps a little easier because of a new little angel to love!

Here are a few photos that the breeder has sent us!



 

Thursday, September 20, 2012

My heart just hurts....

I really cant find any words to express what I am feeling other than I hurt.  Plain and simple - I hurt - my hearts hurts for some many reasons right now.  Perhaps writing it down will help.
My hearts hurts:
  • My sweet sweet Annabelle is not  here physically with us.  What a beautiful experience she was and yet I hurt at my selffishness for wanting her here even tough her physical body could not take being here any longer.
  • The love of my life is not on the sidelines for the first time in 17 years - that is where he longs to be and my heart hurts for him. 
  • One knee surgery already and now total knee replacment - my heart hurts for the pain in his body and for his emotion well being during this difficult time.
  • Lil Ball Boy was taken from us way too soon and my heart hurts for that.
  • Emptynest has a whole new meaning now and my heart hurts.
  • Our house is too quiet and my heart hurts.
  • My aging body and a routinue procedure reminds me that I am not invicible and my days are numbered and time is precious - my heart hurts.
  • Our nation is under attack by its own people and the younger generation no longer center around the Lord and my heart hurts.
  • I am tired, so tired, so weary and yet I have to be strong one, the decision maker, the reliable one, the constant and yet my heart HURTS.
So what do I do and where do I go?  Where can I go but to the Lord?  Only HE can truly understand what I am feeling and will listen without judging me.  Perhaps I am being selfish - I dont know but I need rest - the kind that only HE can give!

Psalm 121
A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord watches over you—the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all harm—he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore

In all things, in all times, no matter what - I will trust in the Lord.  Rest will come if not during my time down here, then in the eternal life with Him.  May I keep reminding myself that this is NOT my home....There is coming a day....no tears, no hurts, no pain....Come quickly Jesus!

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Phone call to the Bridge...





Hello Arthur and Levi!!

I can only imagine all the fun that the two of you have been up to!  By now, you should be adjusting Lil Ball Boy and having the time of your life playing all day with that silly ball!!!  I just know that the two of you are the best of friends!!!

Life down here is crazy as always - oh how we miss you guys!  Not a day goes by that we don't talk about the fun and the love we shared!!!  Life was never dull where you were in our house!  I can still see you Arthur turning your head sideways just to make us laugh and you Lil Ball Boy - daring me to chase with that favorite ball of yours!

Well we have a surprise for you - today Annabelle is coming to live with you!  Now you know how this little momma is - always the momma and always protecting those she loved!  She has stayed down here longer than her diseased body should have but in her stubbornness - she would not leave us!  She loved us that much!!  Even today - she would still stay despite the pain but that look in her eyes tells us to let her go.

So today we will help her and it will not be easy - just like losing the two of you was not easy and still is not easy - did I tell you how much we miss you? 

Please do me a favor - wait for her!  Greet her with bulldog kisses and butt wiggles!!  She wont know how to act in a new painfree body!  Don't forget to dance - remind her to shake it shake it girlfriend!!!!

No tears there!!  We will cry the tears here(seems like a flood already) and never forget we love you!

See you soon!!!


Love, Mom