God is good all the time.... even when it hurts!

The older I get the more I realize how short our time is here.  Now I am not saying anything that anyone else has not said before but WOW - life truly is but a vapor!  Death hurts, mourning hurts, illnesses hurt, injustice hurts but God is GOOD all the time.

Today, my uncle stepped his final step into glory.  His battle over the last few months has been a hard one and I am thankful for a merciful God who made his transition a peaceful one.  I can only imagine the joy that he felt when he was restored to healthy and made his way to see our Lord and then his wife, and his mother and dad....Oh the tears of joy he must be experiencing is almost beyond my comprehension.

It is those who are left behind that most now deal with the overwhelming what-if, the empty chair at holiday dinners, the memories, the pain of losing someone you love.  Our family has not experienced death much as we don't really have a large family so we don't have a lot of practice letting go of those we cherish.

My heart is breaking for his son and wife who will now have to deal with the reality of not getting here in time and being able to say physically say goodbye.  For my aunt who has been his caretaker and overseer for last few months, tears flow freely.

My heart is breaking for my mother( the oldest of the three) is an amazing woman - She has watched as her dad and mom were buried and now will stay strong for her brother to take his place by them.  No one has prayed for my uncle more these last few months than my mom.  She is grieving in all kinds of ways - two sons that she has not seen in years (and may never see again) and a lifestyle change of leaving her home of 30+ years is right around the corner.

And for the rest of us - holding on to our memories and realizing that life is but a vapor - live love and laugh.  But most of all, if you believe in Jesus Christ and accept him as our your Lord and savior - you too can rest in the knowledge that God is good all the time and one day you will be reunited with your loved ones who believed the same thing!

This is perhaps the last photo taken of him....this was good day! Rest in peace Uncle Nathan - we love you and we miss you but we will see you again soon!

10 things I learned and/or lived in 2013

What I learned in 2013....

1.       I am in control of NOTHING.

2.       I am a better person when I am broken.

3.       Pruning hurts.

4.       Choosing to believe makes things bearable.

5.       Life does not get easier when the kids are grown.

6.       God is a magnificent artist.

7.       I have too much stuff.

8.       Life can change in a second - take nothing for granted.

9.       Love is not earned.

10.   God is not through with me yet or else I would be home.

 

I Choose to BELIEVE

I  choose to believe.

 

When the weather forecast is bleak and the rain continues and it threatens our plans - I choose to believe it will stop.

When the hospital stays continue and become somewhat a normalcy in our household - I choose to believe that healing will come one day.

When I have cried so much that a river could form - I choose to believe that You will hold all my tears for safe keeping.

When a mother cries for her wayward child to come home - I choose believe that he/she will.

When a loved one is struggling to regain control of his/her life as they age - I choose to believe that they will find comfort and strength.

When all hope appears to be lost - I choose to believe that better days are coming.

 

Is it easy to choose to believe?  No - No - NO.  Satan loves to attack my mind when circumstances down here are bad; when I am so tired that I cant see or think; when I have no words left to pray; when I feel alone among family and friends.  I force myself to choose to believe!

I believe that Jesus Christ came to earth as a child - born of a virgin - in a manger some 2000 years ago.  I believe that he died a cruel death on a cross and it was ugly, disgusting and it was all for us.  I believe that Jesus carried the weight of all my sin that day and I believe that He rose from the dead to give me eternal life with Him. I believe that He loves me unconditionally and more than anyone else ever could.  I believe that He ascended into heaven and my mansion will be ready when my time comes.

 

But mostly importantly - I choose to believe that he is coming again - one day to get me!  And from that day forward - no pain, no tears, no heartache, no illnesses, no famine,   So until that time - stay away from me Satan - you have tried and tried - you can't steal my joy nor my soul.  I am a child of the one TRUE God in whom I place all my beliefs.

Where is God?

Where is God?




All this tragedy in the world today – one could easily lose their minds with worry over all that has gone on it just 2013 alone – rising prices, government shutdown, obamacare, death of loved ones , illnesses, loneliness, dementia, accidents, job loss, wars and rumors of wars, feeling of pending doom around every corner….So where is God?

He is….

• Painting the beautiful sunrises and sunsets we have seen lately

• Showing us abundant vivid rainbows in the last few weeks

• The sparkling twinkle in a friends eyes after several months of no contact

• The phone call from a friend when you need it most

• The love of a dog that reminds us it is conditional

• A hug and a tear that makes compassion more than an emotion

• Sleepless nights filled with prayer and scriptures

• Still in the miracle business after an accident

• Blessing planning meetings with laughter and fellowship

• The potter that never tires of the clay – no matter how broken or worn it is

• Collecting every tear I cried

• With me always even to the ends of the earth

Thank you Lord for making your presence known even in the unstable times!

If I could save time in a bottle....

Anyone remember that song by Jim Croce - If I could save time in a bottle, the first thing that I'd like to do is save everyday till eternity passes to spend them with you.....Well if I could save time in a bottle - I would save this past Sunday - Mothers Day 2013.

What a gorgeous day the Lord gave us - the weather was fabulous - sunny and warm with a breeze.  Both my children were in church with me along with Mom and Darryl - that in itself was so much more than I deserved.  After coming out of the worst week ever, I cannot put into words the emotional comfort I received this Mothers Day.

For a few hours - all the world was good, there was nothing worrying me, there was no pain, there was no panic in my stomach, there was simply joy - Joy that I was able to worship with my family, Joy that I still have my precious mother, Joy that both my kids were home, Joy that Ashley found the love of her life, Joy that we have a place to call home, Joy that we laughed and cried, Joy that Darryl felt well enough to sit with us at the table for a dinner, Joy that comes in the morning as the Lord promises.....

If I could save time in a bottle - moments like this is what I would save.  They are few these days but when they come - they arrive in grand fashion and this Mom is so grateful for the few hours that she was allowed to be normal!

As quickly as the the moments came,  they left and life returned to normal....but there is coming a day when the wonder of this day will be insignificant in milestones when we are all in heaven together!

For now though - it is moments like this that I thank the Lord for renewed hope, strength, and courage to face what lies ahead!  Thank you Lord for blessing me so!

The Last Time

If I had known that it would be the last time I would have…..

• Memorized every second so that I could replay it over and over
• Savored it so much more
• Relaxed
• Took a little more time to bask in it
• Bottled the passion in a room in my heart for safekeeping
• Made sure that he knew that he knew that there was no better
• Not taken it for granted

This may be the end of the chapter but definitely not the end of the story!

The Lord gives and takes away and still I will say ‘Blessed be the name of the Lord!”

Laughter to stop the tears!

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, my beautiful daughter Ashley got engaged to her longtime boyfriend Mike!  Yeah for them!!!!  So excited for their future life together and all of the possibilities that it holds! 

Now the fun begins....every mom has dreams for their daughters wedding - every daughter has dreams for their big day...oh the fun, fun, fun!  So why the tears????  Could it be that the precious little girl that I gave birth to 26 years ago is grown now, could it be that she will be gorgeous in that gown as she walks the aisle, could it be that she is opening a door that requires maturity and dedication that she cant begin to imagine until she walks through that door, could it be that Nanny wont be here to see what she always wanted, could it be hormones???  Who knows??

So I have decided to make every effort to stop the tears by LAUGHING....yes Laurel Burns said by LAUGHING.... so if you see me - tell me a joke, if you email me - please make sure to include something funny, if you hug me - smile and laugh with me.

So the plan for the weekend after the dress shopping is done and Lex has moved all of his items from his room ....watch National Lampoons Christmas Vacation and LAUGH!  Play with DD (devil dog) aka Georgia Rose and LAUGH!  Tell Coach Burns a joke....haha that is a laugh itself!!!  Spend Sunday with a bunch of youth from church and LAUGH (they always make me laugh at the things they say)....

If you have any other ideas....let me know.....otherwise I may have to buy stock in Kleenex!

To get the laughter started for today.....hope you enjoy this silly silly Christmas song a friend at work has gotten me stuck on!
Dominick the Italian Christmas Donkey



La la la lal....yehaw...yehaw...it's Dominick the donkey!!!!