Sunday, August 29, 2010

A sign....

Several times this week I have asked the Lord for a sign. As I have cried and prayed and cried and prayed, I asked Him to show me a sign that Arthur was ok and that we would be ok too. On Friday August 27, the memorial company emailed me the picture of the urn. Needless to say, I was very emotional at the finality of precious Arthur was gone and I was a mess.

On my knees again, I prayed that the Lord would send me a sign that Arthur was fine and that this hurt would heal.... I said Lord send me a rainbow! I explained in my prayer that a new found friend of mine, Suzette, who I met through mutual bulldog grief, had sent me a book called Bill at Rainbow Bridge and it had helped me imagine good things to come. It was a book about a bulldog named Bill who had passed away and his owner was searching for answers and trying to figure out how to get on with his life despite the overwhelming sense of despair and anguish. It is a really good read for anyone who has lost a pet.

Anyway back to my story... As I cried and prayed to the Lord - I repeatedly asked for a sign - a rainbow to let me know that all was well... to help me be able to say "It is well with my soul"

I finished up my prayers and went back to was Friday and Friday night lights began today - Coach Darryl and the Dallas County Hornets would be playing their first game of the season in a few hours.....I was supposed to be traveling to the game with a van full of my close friends and I was in no mood to go. I would have made an excuse and stayed home except for the fact that it would not be the right thing to do.... SO I forced myself to pack a bag of goodies, put on the best face that I could right now and go. Let me stop for a moment and say that I have some wonderful friends - they love me despite the tears, the bad moods, the temper, through the good and the bad - they are friends for life - they are my brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank you Lord for sending them to me!

With a broken heart and some chocolate bars - I climbed into the van and headed to watch the love of my life do what he loves - coach. The night started with a huge downpour of rain but we drove anyway. On the way, the van was full of multiple conversations, laughter, and giggles - I kept my sunglasses on to hide the tears - I did not want to be there....I wanted to be home crying for my Arthur.... All of a sudden, sweet Kelli said - Hey there is a rainbow....I looked out the window and there it was - the sign! The rainbow I had asked the Lord for.....Oh My!!! Praise the Lord!!!

Now you may think that this was just a coincidence or you may think that it was not sent by God.... BUT I believe that the Lord heard my prayer and felt my pain and answered my prayer! I believe that rainbow was sent just for me. I believe that the Lord hears me when I pray and I believe that He feels my pain. I believe that "all things work together for good for them that love the Lord..." I am so very thankful for the saving grace of Jesus Christ!

Coach Burns team won, the van ride home was blast, and I am so thankful for my friends and family!

The rainbow made me cry but My Arthur is OK and, in time, my family will be okay too. We miss you Arthur - you were a blessing to us! RIP sweet boy!

THANK YOU LORD! To God be the Glory - great things you have done!!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Arthur - the beginning

With heavy heart that he is gone and we are still here - I feel compelled to put all of this in print so that someday when I cant remember all the details personally - someone will be able to read it to me. So here goes -"Arthur The Beginning"

Dooley Arthur Burns was born September 19, 2004 - he was one of six English bulldog puppies that J&J Bulldogs had for sale. I began to correspond with Ms. Judy, who has become my friend over the years, about purchasing one - after multiple visits to her website - I had picked out the one that I wanted - His name was Chubby. He was cute, fat, and lovable - everything that I wanted in a bulldog and more.

Darryl and I took a Saturday in early November to visit J&J and play with the puppies. All of them were so excited to see us - we meet all their dogs - including the parents of this litter JJ and Patti Labelle - we fell in love right there with the breed - even more so than we thought that we could. Judy let the puppies out of the pin into the viewing area and they all came running toward us except one - he decided to find something to get into - a rug to chew on - he had attitude. As I sat there holding and loving on Chubby - Darryl was fascinated with this little terror that was attacking a rug that was much larger than him....

From that very moment, Dooley (as Judy had named him) became a part of our family. No second glances - no changing his mind - no looking back - Darryl had found his boy. Darryl had found the DOG who would never know that he was a dog.

With eager anticipation, Arthur came to live with us right before Christmas in 2004. Now Ashley had already graduated from high school and was in her freshman year in college. Lex was in his freshman year at MHS. Neither one of them had much time for talking with mom anymore - they were busy. Darryl and I had only been married a couple of years and they did not spend much time with him either. Arthur arrived and everything changed. Suddenly all four of us were together quite often playing, hugging, loving this new four legged creature that would call our house - HOME.

Little did we know at the time what an impact this bulldog would have on our lives. We did not know that he would be the vessel that the Lord would use to mold us into a family. That he would be the tool that would make our house a home.

Thank you Lord for letting us love on him for the few years that he was on this earth. We will be eternally grateful for our time with him. How fitting an end to his life that on the day he died, we all needed to be together again in the same room as a family - Arthur would have loved it!