OK now - quit playing tricks on me! I am not 48 today - surely I am still 24 or 25....After all, am I not still going strong - running with a million projects? Did I not just dance my heart out and my booty off (OK that is an exaggeration) to the Hustle Bustle as Tammy Naut Baum in the Christmas play? Seriously - when did I get middle age? There is no gray in my hair (thanks to my wonderful stylist)! No one can tell that my cute glasses are bifocals....really 48???? No way - I don't believe it!
I see me as........ wow I am getting old. I am 48 - I have grown children. I am a great aunt. Oh wait - I see wrinkles now - I have always called them love lines...not laugh lines as I got several of them through hard loving times! I see retirement in the future (NO WAY - this cant be on the horizon - not in 20 years)...
All kidding aside - I don't feel 48 (whatever that feels like). I do feel blessed and I must share with you the one thing that I know that I know beyond a shadow of a doubt whether I am 24 or 48 0r 96. Jesus Christ died for me - he is my personal saviour and I have the promise of eternal life with him!
It is my prayer that you know Him too! If you don't, I will be glad to share him with you! His promise is open to all no matter what your age is.
I want to see you in heaven with me - I will still be trying to convince you that I am not 48 and that I am much younger than my birthday reflects. You can laugh with me or at me but it wont matter which because you will be there in heaven with me and that is ALL that matters!!!
So for now - I will be 48 if you let me tell you about my Jesus!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Wow - Lil Ben - you are two years old today! My my - you have seen so much in your two years here... You found a best friend when you came to live with us - Arthur more or less tolerated you but you loved him! All too soon, he departed this life unexpectedly and you were lost for a while! I will never forget the look on your face as you went room to room looking for him....and oh how we still miss him.
Then, we brought Samson home to stay with us - a 6 year old beautiful rescue. I was so sure that you would become best friends...little did I realize at the time that you were miserable from day one. You withdrew from us and anger became part of your everyday life...a side of you that we had not ever seen before. After all, you had always been a very loving dog. Still we tried everything to make our house a home again but you and Samson could not get along. Despite behavior modification and medicines, neither you nor Samson were happy. Things escalated and soon you guys were fighting all the time...we had to keep you seperated and still you tried to fight through the gates....Oh what a sad time that was too! The decision had to be made and it broke my heart for I loved Samson so much - but he was returned to rescue after almost four months- the best thing for him and still we hurt.
Samson has been gone almost a week now and finally I am beginning to see signs of the old Lil Ben return. Last night you even got in the bed for the first time in months and laid your head on my legs - just like you use to do. You have even started getting up with me each morning again - you will be happy again!
Lil Ben - you are a precious precious member of our family! We love you! Happy Birthday!!!!
Monday, January 3, 2011
Seems like only yesterday they were chasing each other through the house...laughing and squealing while playing hide & seek. Nanny did her best to keep the house straight but when Ashley and Alex played - look out...there was always a mess and there was always noise...lots of noise... Oh how I long for those days again.
And now the house is quiet - erie quiet. Their rooms are empty - most all of their stuff is gone and never have I felt so out of place in my own home. Is this the way a mom is supposed to feel when her children leave home to start their own adult lives? When does the mom realize that this is the new norm?
When did they grow up? When did I get old? I don't feel old - certainly I am still in my 20s aren't I? How did time pass so quickly? Seems like I blinked and they were grown....
Lord I pray that I have prepared them for this world! Lord I pray that you will keep watch over them as they attempt to conquer life for themselves. Lord I pray that you will keep them focused on your tasks and the future life in heaven. Lord I pray that they will always know that their mother loves them to the moon and back, to infinity and beyond; yesterday, today and tomorrow! Just like your love for us -endless, selfless and eternal - may they remember that you will always be there for them.
And one more thing, Lord, thank you for giving me two awesome kids - You have blessed me so much more than I deserve and I will be eternally grateful!
Now...this old mother will have to find something new to do...until such time that she is needed again.