Tuesday, May 29, 2012

How can I help?

I am pretty much never at a loss for words….(go figure) but right now I am struggling with what to say and what to do to help Coach Burns….you see I a fixer – a person who wants to fix things and restore balance – a person who thrives on unity and a person who does not mind carrying the load as long as I am able. That is why it breaks my heart to see a crossroads in his life – one that can’t be fixed by me.

To say that Coach Burns has had a couple of rough years is not accurate at all. It has been way more years that a couple – try a decade. One illness leads to another which leads to another and so on. Yet his is so young in age and that causes the mental heartache to surface also. He is at a crossroads in his life and needs support from his family, his loved ones, his friends, and most importantly HIS GOD. It is when we are at our weakest that Satan is lurking ready to take over and invade our minds. We CANNOT let that happen.

So again – I ask – How can I help?

1. I can pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and when I think that I have prayed enough, I can start praying all over again. What a wonderful way to talk to the Lord and some times it is with tears, others with anger, others with broken hearts, and sometimes laughter. I can pray and NO one can steal that away from me.

2. I can dive in the scriptures – I can surround myself and Coach Burns with uplifting bible verses and verses that offer the promise that things will be ok again. Our house is soon to be covered in sticky notes (glad they come in such cool colors – LOL).

3. I can love him like Jesus would – oh how I love Coach Burns – no one would doubt that for a second but to love him like Jesus loved is a goal that envelops me. Love him in the good, love him through the bad, the weak, the weary, the angry, the why me’s?, in the pain and the distress of these earthly circumstances….Yes I can love him like Jesus!

4. I can listen without judging the words that come from his mouth – knowing that hurt causes us to sometimes say discouraging things or negative outlooks. This will be very hard – as a fixer wants to fix and sometimes he just needs me to listen without trying to make it better.

5. I can stay healthy myself by eating right, getting enough rest, relaxing more and venting to my dear friends when the need arises. This will be difficult for me also but if this is part of what is needed to help Coach Burns then I can do it!

6. Finally and so very importantly – I can trust in what the Lord has promised! Below are just a few of my favorites:

Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Matthew 11:28
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose

And perhaps my most favorite verse of all:

John 16:33
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Ok Lord, I am ready to help!

Tuesday, May 22, 2012


To say that I HATE those words is an understatement....I loathe, despise, and spew them out of my mouth.  Confirmation once again that this Babylon world we live in is for the healthy, the wealthy and the beautiful and this disgust me so. 

Why do bad things happen to good people?  Why is life so unfair?  Why do the sick have to pay so dearly not only with their physical ailments but with their emotional well being also? Why is Satan always lurking to get his foot back in the door of our hearts?  For those of us who are saved, he cant steal our salvation but he can ruin our witness and he can hurt our impact on the kingdom.  Why does he keep bothering us so?

Well Satan - take this warning - you are messing with someone I love and you will not win.  You pitiful fool - get away from us.  You see whatever you do down here to us means NOTHING...we are headed to eternal life in heaven with no illnesses, no favoritism, no politics and no evil is allowed.  We may be down right now but the Lord will guide us through this mess and we will be victorious again.

People are not looking at us to have it together - they are looking at what happens to us when we don't - Beth Moore.   Well keep looking because our GOD is much bigger than any non-renewed status!  We will not fall apart - we will stand on our knees and pray our way through this!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

The waiting is the hardest part.....

“You take it on faith – You take it to the heart – The waiting is the hardest part!” Lord knows we have been here before and here we are again at a crossroads that is uncomfortable to say the least.

I am a planner – I plan everything in my life that I possibly can. Sometimes this is a good thing - like when you are going out of town, paying bills, grocery shopping, etc. Other times it can be a pain like when the schedule is too full, your body just needs more rest than you are allowing, etc…. you get the picture.

For a habitual planner, waiting to be able to plan is extremely hard - waiting for someone else to let you know what the deal is so that you can plan the next course of your life so to speak.

We are in that holding pattern at this moment and as many times as we have been here before – it still is upsetting and uncalled for in my opinion. To be honest – it just stinks like garbage! So while we wait – the questions of what if? Why now? Can we? What’s next? Will we? Why us? – all cannot be answered at this time and stress runs rampant despite our prayers of relief.

We know that everything is in God’s hands and we will have answers soon that will allow us to make decisions as to which turn we take and which road we will be traveling on next….A new adventure maybe or staying the course we are on currently. Whatever the outcome is our emotions are all over the place and we will welcome some sort of normalcy to return.

Lord – you know our prayer – we have prayed it at least thousands of times. Please give us the endurance, strength, emotional stability, peace and comfort as we wait. We know and we believe with all our beings that YOU are in control and you will reveal your plan to us in your time. Please do so gently so that we can grasp it and grow from it, guard our hearts as Satan is waiting to invade….Please take away the tears and clear the fog so that we may see clearly how to give you glory in the next chapter of our lives! We love you Lord and we thank you for loving us. We will serve you while we’re waiting… we will worship while we’re waiting….Amen

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Am I selfish?

If I have to ask that question, then I must be ?  Here is my list of things I want...
1.  I want Coach Burns to be well, to have days without pain, without panic, without swelling and inflammation, and doubts as to whether he is the man he wants/use to be.

2.  I want Coach Burns to be happy -smiling and laughing - doing the things he loves the most - coaching football and playing with his bulldogs.

3.  I want Coach Burns to succeed as the spiritual leader of household. Satan continually attacks those who are weak (physically due to illness) and makes them think that they are worthless.

4. I want Coach Burns to enjoy his life down here - to feel like going on vacation, nights out, fellowships, and all the little things that most of us take for granted.

If wanting these things makes me selfish - then I know that I am.  For years now, we have been plagued with illnesses which leads to disappointment, job loss, emotional barriers, tough times and here are again right in the midst of the same issues.

Some days I feel like just giving up....Then I am reminded that trial and tribulations produce endurance, endurance develops strength of character and character enhances our hope of salvation and this hope will not disappoint....

 "Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

Lord, forgive my selfishness and strengthen me in this trial.  Forgive my wavering belief. Give rest to my weary soul and heal my man.  In all thing, your will be done and your love, grace and mercy will be sufficient for me.  Praise the name the of Jesus....Amen

Thursday, May 3, 2012

What now?

What do I do now?  Why is my house so empty even though I have two other bulldogs?  Why does Annabelle have a huge tumor  in her abdomen now of all times?  Why does death hurt so bad? Why is Coach Burns still sick?  What does the future hold for our lives while here on this earth?  Why cant I sleep through the night?  What are you trying to tell me Lord?

Just a few questions that I seem to repeat over and over these days....the answers may never come but I will keep praying  and praying.....Faith the size of a mustard seed is all I need.....Lord fill me with your grace and mercy....Point me in the right direction.

I will serve you while I am waiting....I will worship while I am waiting....Please Lord - come and take us home.