A sign....

Several times this week I have asked the Lord for a sign. As I have cried and prayed and cried and prayed, I asked Him to show me a sign that Arthur was ok and that we would be ok too. On Friday August 27, the memorial company emailed me the picture of the urn. Needless to say, I was very emotional at the finality of this...my precious Arthur was gone and I was a mess.

On my knees again, I prayed that the Lord would send me a sign that Arthur was fine and that this hurt would heal.... I said Lord send me a rainbow! I explained in my prayer that a new found friend of mine, Suzette, who I met through mutual bulldog grief, had sent me a book called Bill at Rainbow Bridge and it had helped me imagine good things to come. It was a book about a bulldog named Bill who had passed away and his owner was searching for answers and trying to figure out how to get on with his life despite the overwhelming sense of despair and anguish. It is a really good read for anyone who has lost a pet.

Anyway back to my story... As I cried and prayed to the Lord - I repeatedly asked for a sign - a rainbow to let me know that all was well... to help me be able to say "It is well with my soul"

I finished up my prayers and went back to working....it was Friday and Friday night lights began today - Coach Darryl and the Dallas County Hornets would be playing their first game of the season in a few hours.....I was supposed to be traveling to the game with a van full of my close friends and I was in no mood to go. I would have made an excuse and stayed home except for the fact that it would not be the right thing to do.... SO I forced myself to pack a bag of goodies, put on the best face that I could right now and go. Let me stop for a moment and say that I have some wonderful friends - they love me despite the tears, the bad moods, the temper, through the good and the bad - they are friends for life - they are my brothers and sisters in Christ. Thank you Lord for sending them to me!

With a broken heart and some chocolate bars - I climbed into the van and headed to watch the love of my life do what he loves - coach. The night started with a huge downpour of rain but we drove anyway. On the way, the van was full of multiple conversations, laughter, and giggles - I kept my sunglasses on to hide the tears - I did not want to be there....I wanted to be home crying for my Arthur.... All of a sudden, sweet Kelli said - Hey there is a rainbow....I looked out the window and there it was - the sign! The rainbow I had asked the Lord for.....Oh My!!! Praise the Lord!!!

Now you may think that this was just a coincidence or you may think that it was not sent by God.... BUT I believe that the Lord heard my prayer and felt my pain and answered my prayer! I believe that rainbow was sent just for me. I believe that the Lord hears me when I pray and I believe that He feels my pain. I believe that "all things work together for good for them that love the Lord..." I am so very thankful for the saving grace of Jesus Christ!

Coach Burns team won, the van ride home was blast, and I am so thankful for my friends and family!

The rainbow made me cry but My Arthur is OK and, in time, my family will be okay too. We miss you Arthur - you were a blessing to us! RIP sweet boy!

THANK YOU LORD! To God be the Glory - great things you have done!!

Arthur - the beginning

With heavy heart that he is gone and we are still here - I feel compelled to put all of this in print so that someday when I cant remember all the details personally - someone will be able to read it to me. So here goes -"Arthur The Beginning"

Dooley Arthur Burns was born September 19, 2004 - he was one of six English bulldog puppies that J&J Bulldogs had for sale. I began to correspond with Ms. Judy, who has become my friend over the years, about purchasing one - after multiple visits to her website - I had picked out the one that I wanted - His name was Chubby. He was cute, fat, and lovable - everything that I wanted in a bulldog and more.

Darryl and I took a Saturday in early November to visit J&J and play with the puppies. All of them were so excited to see us - we meet all their dogs - including the parents of this litter JJ and Patti Labelle - we fell in love right there with the breed - even more so than we thought that we could. Judy let the puppies out of the pin into the viewing area and they all came running toward us except one - he decided to find something to get into - a rug to chew on - he had attitude. As I sat there holding and loving on Chubby - Darryl was fascinated with this little terror that was attacking a rug that was much larger than him....

From that very moment, Dooley (as Judy had named him) became a part of our family. No second glances - no changing his mind - no looking back - Darryl had found his boy. Darryl had found the DOG who would never know that he was a dog.

With eager anticipation, Arthur came to live with us right before Christmas in 2004. Now Ashley had already graduated from high school and was in her freshman year in college. Lex was in his freshman year at MHS. Neither one of them had much time for talking with mom anymore - they were busy. Darryl and I had only been married a couple of years and they did not spend much time with him either. Arthur arrived and everything changed. Suddenly all four of us were together quite often playing, hugging, loving this new four legged creature that would call our house - HOME.

Little did we know at the time what an impact this bulldog would have on our lives. We did not know that he would be the vessel that the Lord would use to mold us into a family. That he would be the tool that would make our house a home.

Thank you Lord for letting us love on him for the few years that he was on this earth. We will be eternally grateful for our time with him. How fitting an end to his life that on the day he died, we all needed to be together again in the same room as a family - Arthur would have loved it!

Change comes....

I am creature of habit - I love my life! I have a routine that I enjoy and have been blessed beyond measure! My day begins in a fog (I am not a morning person) but once up and dressed - life is pretty much predictable for me - work, church activities, dogs, bible study/devotion, a little TV perhaps, bed. It may sound boring to you but it is good for me.

I say all of that to tell you that I do not like change - I want to run from it or hide from it; ignore it or refuse it BUT change comes no matter what! Sometimes it is a good change - like a new puppy or a new adventure. Other times it just plain hurts. This is one of those times.

In less than 24 hours my brother, Jesse, will be boarding a plane leaving the United States for a new life in the Phillippines. This is his choice - no one is making him - not his career or such. He decided to leave the life that he has known here since his birth. He is leaving his children and his grandchild, his mother, his family, his friends, his band for greener pastures - how could that be? Are there greener pastures elsewhere? Will he find what he is looking there? How can a man who has SO much here expect to find more elsewhere?

For weeks now, I have been praying for understanding - I dont have it yet but I will continue to pray. This change consumes my prayer life in so many ways - I pray for his safety, his happiness and his salvation. I pray for his children who feel abandoned now and who will have to face the problems of this life without an earthly father to call to run to their sides. I pray for his grandbaby, Zoey, who will grow up without knowing his touch, his laugh, the twinkle in his eye, the wonderful musician that he is. I pray for my mother who is heartbroken because both of her boys are no longer in arms reach. I pray for me as I know become daughter and son both in the affairs of my mother. I pray for our family as we approach the holidays with yet another one missing - may the Lord hold each and every one of us tightly during these trying times.

I cling to my faith and to the Bible especially the following verses....

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him. Romans 8:28

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding Proverbs 3:5

A Time for Everything
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

I may never understand nor be able to imagine why this had to happen BUT

Jesse - I LOVE YOU! I am so glad that God chose to put you in my family!
Peace my brother!!

Meeting a mentor...

For the past few years, I have had to desire to learn and study the Bible. The stronger my christian walk has become the more urgent calling has become. Growing up, I loved school with all the trimmings of studying, research papers and reading. All of that kinda got put on a back burner once I became an adult with a marriage, a career and children. Well now the kids are grown(praise the Lord) and the career is stable(praise the Lord) and the marriage is healthy also(Again PRAISE THE LORD)! The desire to be a student again has resurfaced and the chosen course is logically the Bible....A book that I adore and love to read but I long to understand and comprehend more...

Over the past few years, I have been very fortunate to participate in some outstanding bible studies that were written by Beth Moore. A small group of ladies at our church have done several including Fruits of the Spirit, When Godly People do Ungodly Things, Psalms of the Accent and Esther just to name a few. We have travelled to a couple of her seminars/conference and enjoyed her teachings along with some really good fellowship.

On Wednesday, Beth Moore was in town for a book signing and I decided to go. Now if you know much about me - I rarely miss work for anything...anything...but I felt led to do so this time and I indulged myself. I purchased the book and waited in line along with 300 hundred other women (maybe a man or two). It was a wonderful adventure....met some really nice ladies....one who just turned 80 and was living her dream to the fullest!!!

When the time arrived, we were given instructions as to not hold Beth up - no pictures, no personal talk, etc...the standard bookstore info for authors. But when Beth arrived - she was different. She was a normal just like us.....

Not only did she sign each and every book - she hugged each lady - talked with each lady - listened to each lady...you get the picture. She gets it....it is not about fame or fortune for her...it is all about showing Christ to the world one person at a time....one smile, one hug, one laugh, one good hair day, one life to live for our savior!

I had a great time and left the experience with exactly what I needed. Thank you Beth Moore for your service to the Lord! Thank you for being real with everyone! Thank you for not only talking the talk but for walking the walk. Your witness is real!

This is how it is supposed to be....I pray that the world see it through me also. This is my prayer o Lord....that when the world sees me -they really just see you!!!!

Thank you Lord for Darryl!

What a tragic week this has been, our community has lost two great men - one to colon cancer and one to a mass heart attack. Both were Christians, both teachers, both high school coaches, both too young to be taken from their families and loved ones.

If you know anything about my life - you can see why this hits home so easily. As I am married to a high school football coach whom I adore with every ounce of my being. He too is a Christian, battles a incurable disease and suffers from chest pain from time to time especially during the season of play. The thought of losing him is unbearable and the pain is insoleable.

What would I do? What will these families do? What will the young people effected do? It my prayer that they would take refuge in Lord - comfort in knowing that these men they love are in heaven - free of all pain -they have stood in the presence of the Lord. They are feasting at a magnificent table and they are home!

For those that remain, the days ahead will be blur for a while - they will need the love, support and shoulders of so many. They will need Jesus! It is in our weakness moments that God carries us if we let him.

I know not when the time will come for Darryl or I to be called home but I do know where we are going and that gives me comfort, hope and joy. I must remember that this is just a temporary home!

So for today - rest in peace Coach Adair and Coach Thompson. And to Coach Burns - I love you more than you will ever know!!!

3:00 am and wide awake...

Most anyone who knows me knows that I am running at full speed most all of the time. So sleep has never been a problem for me. When I finally get in the bed at night - I am out like a automatic switch until the alarm clock goes off. However, at 3:00 am (one and a half hours before the clock is to go off) I am wide awake yesterday.

Fighting it was no use - I was awake - no chance of going back to sleep. So I let me mind begin to access the daily list of things to do and found that this would be a good time to talk with the Lord about a few things. Now normally my prayers always include request for various folks that are having difficulties, the world that we live, the problems of the day and of course a short thank you for all the blessings in my life Amen.

But this morning was different. As I still laid in bed, I could not help to talk with the Lord about all my blessings. A wonderful God fearing man sound asleep beside me, a cozy place to sleep, Lil Ben and Arthur snoring away on the bed with us. Annabelle just outside the bedroom door sleeping on her zebra pillow, in the room across my beautiful Jesus loving daughter in peaceful slumber - who can ask for anything more. My talk continued with thankfulness of a nice house, transportation, jobs that put food on the table, a memory that allows me to use the poverty of my past to help others now.

I thanked Him for my health and for the health of my family. I thanked Him for my son who also knows the Lord and has tender heart. For my friends who are truly just angels that He gave me to help get me through the trials and temptations of this world that we live in.

I found myself with tears streaming down my face for I realized that I am blessed far far more than I deserve to me. I apologized for taking so much for granted and not always taking time to give Him the credit He deserved for my life.

I ended my quiet time with a final thank you for His son - how hard that must have been to send Jesus to carry the weight of the world literally on his shoulders to save a poor sinner like me. As the songs - when He was on cross I was on His mind.

May I never take this this for granted especially when the world steps in and tries to show me different. My prayer will always be - "Lead me, guide me along the way. For if You lead me I cannot stray. Or just open my eyes that I may see I am lost if You take Your hand from me. I am blind without Your light to see. Lord just always let me Thy servant be. Lead me 0' Lord, won’t You lead me. Lead me, guide me along the way. For if You lead me I cannot stray!" Amen!

Again time has flown by..

How did I get so far behind (see picture above) on my postings? I have so much to put in print that I am afraid now that I will leave out some of the details.....It is now November and the last time I posted was about something that happened in March... I am going to try and recount the major things that has happened over the last 6 months in the coming days....so much to remember! Hope this posts are not boring but they are so precious and important to us.

One thing I do know is that the Lord has blessed us tremendously this year - sure we have had our share of trials and difficult situations but we have also had numerous victories and we are still careful to give God the glory in the good and the bad.

The one thing that really needs to be said today - is this - THANK YOU LORD - for all the blessings in my life, for my family, my friends, my health, my job, my dogs, and so many other things but most the number one reason that I thank You is for Your son - Jesus Christ- who died for my sins and who saved me from the eternal fires of Hell.