Normally, words come easily for me. However, today I find myself without the words to express so desperately what my head needs to release....bear with me please.!
WHAT ON EARTH is happening here? Shooting in Tuscaloosa a couple of weeks ago, the Colorado massacre while folks are watching a movie, our president comes out in support of gay marriage, unemployment is staggering (177 teachers apply for one job), fraud is everywhere, human trafficing is the new slave issue, drugs are everywhere, politicians are more worried about their own pockets than what is best for our country.....the list goes on and on....ENOUGH ALREADY!
WAKE UP AMERICA - we are headed down a path of total destruction! We are reaching the point of no return! In the good ole USA, we have not been persercuted for our faith yet but that is quickly on the horizon if we dont stand up for the principles that this country was founded on....Where are you men of courage? Where are you Proverbs 31 ladies?
Get out your bibles - READ! PRAY! READ! PRAY!!
"Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken the love you had at first. 5 Consider how far you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place." Revelation 2:4
"I know your deeds; you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead. 2 Wake up! Strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have found your deeds unfinished in the sight of my God. 3 Remember, therefore, what you have received and heard; hold it fast, and repent. But if you do not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what time I will come to you."
Revelation 3:1-3
Father please forgive us!
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Trust God!
Well it is VBS (Vacation Bible School) week at Wilton Baptist Church and as always I agree to participate. I like VBS but I must tell you that it is not my favorite thing to do....I know that the Bible commands us to have faith like a child but it has always been a little hard for me to relate to being a child...a story for another day. Anyway VBS is geared strictly towards teaching, playing, singing, dancing, eating, and just having fun with children - I get that and I can do that with the help of the Lord.
For the past few years, I have somehow ended up on the drama team -how that happened - I don't know...I mean really I am a middle aged old woman who is about as exciting as a sleeping bulldog....but anything for the children - right? Last night was my drama performance which consisted of the beginning of the cruel treatment of Jesus from the arrest to the beating to the trial to Pilate washing his hands of the whole situation....I have been battling the crud all week -truly feeling terrible - but TRUSTING GOD - that he would speak through me and the drama would go on. And God did just that and praise the Lord - despite my physically aliments - the Wild Bible Adventure for night 3 was ALL GOD and NO LAUREL! Thank You Lord!!
This week the children are learning the following Bible points:
No matter who you are.......TRUST GOD!
No matter how you feel.......TRUST GOD!
No matter what people do...TRUST GOD!
No matter what happens......TRUST GOD!
No matter where you are......TRUST GOD!
So is this really just for the kids? I don't think so! Read those again - In all things TRUST GOD - Oh Lord sometimes my head just refuses to do this and what a wonderful reminder through a program geared towards children that it is for ME also. I have attended many VBS' as a child and worked in VBS as an adult for years but never has one actually spoke to me like this...Perhaps it is because of these trials and tribulations that seem so horrible in my life right now....However, they cannot begin to compare to what my precious saviour when through those final hours and he always TRUSTED GOD. Praise the Lord for Jesus!
I am humbly reminded of the love He has for me and I am embarrassed in my weakness when my head battles with my heart I tend to lose sight of that. I know that He will not give us more than HE can handle so here are the BBS (Burns Bible School) points for this week:
If this is the end of Coach Burns career............TRUST GOD!
If some friends chose to ignore you..................TRUST GOD!
If monetary living circumstances are changed.....TRUST GOD!
If health issues don't go away.............................TRUST GOD!
If stress creeps in and times seem bleak.............TRUST GOD!
If you feel you cant go on..................................TRUST GOD!
If life down here seems unbearable...................TRUST GOD!
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you;I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
Lord thank you for Vacation Bible School and for continuing to teach me, reminding me and holding me tight! I love you!
For the past few years, I have somehow ended up on the drama team -how that happened - I don't know...I mean really I am a middle aged old woman who is about as exciting as a sleeping bulldog....but anything for the children - right? Last night was my drama performance which consisted of the beginning of the cruel treatment of Jesus from the arrest to the beating to the trial to Pilate washing his hands of the whole situation....I have been battling the crud all week -truly feeling terrible - but TRUSTING GOD - that he would speak through me and the drama would go on. And God did just that and praise the Lord - despite my physically aliments - the Wild Bible Adventure for night 3 was ALL GOD and NO LAUREL! Thank You Lord!!
This week the children are learning the following Bible points:
No matter who you are.......TRUST GOD!
No matter how you feel.......TRUST GOD!
No matter what people do...TRUST GOD!
No matter what happens......TRUST GOD!
No matter where you are......TRUST GOD!
So is this really just for the kids? I don't think so! Read those again - In all things TRUST GOD - Oh Lord sometimes my head just refuses to do this and what a wonderful reminder through a program geared towards children that it is for ME also. I have attended many VBS' as a child and worked in VBS as an adult for years but never has one actually spoke to me like this...Perhaps it is because of these trials and tribulations that seem so horrible in my life right now....However, they cannot begin to compare to what my precious saviour when through those final hours and he always TRUSTED GOD. Praise the Lord for Jesus!
I am humbly reminded of the love He has for me and I am embarrassed in my weakness when my head battles with my heart I tend to lose sight of that. I know that He will not give us more than HE can handle so here are the BBS (Burns Bible School) points for this week:
If this is the end of Coach Burns career............TRUST GOD!
If some friends chose to ignore you..................TRUST GOD!
If monetary living circumstances are changed.....TRUST GOD!
If health issues don't go away.............................TRUST GOD!
If stress creeps in and times seem bleak.............TRUST GOD!
If you feel you cant go on..................................TRUST GOD!
If life down here seems unbearable...................TRUST GOD!
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you;I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
“Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Hebrews 13:5
I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
Lord thank you for Vacation Bible School and for continuing to teach me, reminding me and holding me tight! I love you!
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Happy Birthday Levi Malachi....
We played ball today - but you weren't here. I can still see you running to get that silly ball and daring me to chase you with it in your mouth until you made it safely to your cave (the end table)...Oh how we miss you!
We had double cheeseburgers for your birthday dinner - you know that is a rule in the Burns household - all bullies get a double cheeseburger for their birthday - only you weren't here to go with us to get it.
Cant forget ice cream - you always slurped yours up so fast that I knew you would be a brain freeze but you were always begging for more! Lil Ben and Annabelle enjoyed theirs - but you weren't here to tease us with that precious starving look at me look....
Lots of hugs and kisses in our house tonight sending them to you - Lil Ball Boy. I bet that you have become really good friends with your brother Arthur - he has to be a great big brother - he was mighty special to us. Annabelle will probably be joining you guys soon so be on the lookout for her in the next few weeks or months....she still is a feisty little lady and she will be ready to boss you both around.
Happy Birthday Levi - I don't know if we will ever get over losing you but I do know that we love you and we miss you terribly! Thank you for the unconditional love you gave til the end......
Run and play ball now sweet one - don't worry - it wont be much longer till we get there!!!
Love,
Mom
Friday, June 22, 2012
Alone..
I don't know where to begin to describe what I am feeling at this point in my life except to say that I feel alone...alone - definitely not a place that I find myself too often. But in this chapter of my life, in the midst of my family and friends, my coworkers and others - I feel alone.
I want to scream in anger and push buttons for someone to fight with me. I want to cry myself to sleep and drown in the tears. I want to go to sleep and wake up when this nightmare is over - when things are good again - when that Coach Burns smile is back and it radiates across the room - when the house is filled with laughter - when the memories of better times are enjoyable again and not haunting - when the life was not just something that we must do but something that we loved doing.
Sorry this is so depressing - I am not really depressed just sad. Sad that I cant seem to help; sad that the house is so quiets that it is erie, sad that we are so young and yet we seem so old, sad for the future that might have been..
Where can I turn for some relief? There is only one place - the real thing! The One who will never leave and who might let me bend but not break...Lord - if we ever needed you - it is now.
So I go to your word for help:
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. (Psalm 32:7-8)
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles. (Psalm 34:17)
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. (Deuteronomy 33:27)
The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. (Psalm 9:9-10)
I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident. (Psalm 27: 1, 3)
I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)
Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. (Psalm 34:10b)
Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him. (Psalm 37:3-5, 7a)
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my help and my God. By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his son is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. (Psalm 42: 5,8)
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. (Psalm 46:1-3)
Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. (Psalm 61:1-4)
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (Psalm 62:1-2)
You who live in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress; my God in whom I trust." (Psalm 91:1-2)
Those who love me, I will deliver; I will protect those who know my name. When they call to me, I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble, I will rescue them and honor them. With long life I will satisfy them, and show them my salvation. (Psalm 91:14-16)
I want to scream in anger and push buttons for someone to fight with me. I want to cry myself to sleep and drown in the tears. I want to go to sleep and wake up when this nightmare is over - when things are good again - when that Coach Burns smile is back and it radiates across the room - when the house is filled with laughter - when the memories of better times are enjoyable again and not haunting - when the life was not just something that we must do but something that we loved doing.
Sorry this is so depressing - I am not really depressed just sad. Sad that I cant seem to help; sad that the house is so quiets that it is erie, sad that we are so young and yet we seem so old, sad for the future that might have been..
Where can I turn for some relief? There is only one place - the real thing! The One who will never leave and who might let me bend but not break...Lord - if we ever needed you - it is now.
So I go to your word for help:
You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. (Psalm 32:7-8)
When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears, and rescues them from all their troubles. (Psalm 34:17)
It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not fail you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed. (Deuteronomy 31:8)
The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. (Deuteronomy 33:27)
The Lord is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. (Psalm 9:9-10)
I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)
The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid? Though an army encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war rise up against me, yet I will be confident. (Psalm 27: 1, 3)
I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)
Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. (Psalm 34:10b)
Trust in the Lord and do good; so you will live in the land, and enjoy security. Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act. Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for him. (Psalm 37:3-5, 7a)
Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my help and my God. By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his son is with me, a prayer to the God of my life. (Psalm 42: 5,8)
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. (Psalm 46:1-3)
Hear my cry, O God; listen to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you, I call as my heart grows faint; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the foe. I long to dwell in your tent forever and take refuge in the shelter of your wings. (Psalm 61:1-4)
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken. (Psalm 62:1-2)
You who live in the shelter of the Most High, who abide in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress; my God in whom I trust." (Psalm 91:1-2)
Those who love me, I will deliver; I will protect those who know my name. When they call to me, I will answer them; I will be with them in trouble, I will rescue them and honor them. With long life I will satisfy them, and show them my salvation. (Psalm 91:14-16)
Monday, June 11, 2012
Oh no...the "m" has begun.....seriously now????
For the last year or so, stress has been a weight that I cant seem to loose....from Coach Burns illnesses to job situation, to Levi kidney failure and passing, work, work, and did I mention more work - crazy life that I live (and love) has been plagued by minor ailments that are distracting and discouraging and just plain in the way - I have chalked them up to stress....
But know I am convinced that there is more going on than stress - as I am barely six months away from the big 5-0 - I have come to realize that there is something else going on....the beginnings of menopause - Oh did I just say that out loud????? The change of life - the dreaded hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, weight gain, forgetfulness, interrupted sleep - every night, the panic attacks.....the list goes on and on....
What a wonderful way to bring in 50!!!! And what timing.....as so many things in my life are failing apart at this time - how wonderful that my body begins to think it is also!!!
Laughing and crying and laughing.....WOW - and this could last for years.....Really???? Whatever happened to growing old gracefully? This just stinks.....Give me drugs or look out world the alter egos will appear....Debbie Downer and Psycho Phyllis and Hypochondriac Helen are just itching to take over for a while.....
Praise the Lord - THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!! Now would be good!
But know I am convinced that there is more going on than stress - as I am barely six months away from the big 5-0 - I have come to realize that there is something else going on....the beginnings of menopause - Oh did I just say that out loud????? The change of life - the dreaded hot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, weight gain, forgetfulness, interrupted sleep - every night, the panic attacks.....the list goes on and on....
What a wonderful way to bring in 50!!!! And what timing.....as so many things in my life are failing apart at this time - how wonderful that my body begins to think it is also!!!
Laughing and crying and laughing.....WOW - and this could last for years.....Really???? Whatever happened to growing old gracefully? This just stinks.....Give me drugs or look out world the alter egos will appear....Debbie Downer and Psycho Phyllis and Hypochondriac Helen are just itching to take over for a while.....
Praise the Lord - THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!! Now would be good!
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Faith
As the song lyrics remind me...."There are things about tomorrow (and today) that I do not understand but I know who holds tomorrow (and today) and I know who holds my hand!"
Last night at bible study, I was reminded once again that God will deliver me(us) and I must keep the faith - even when I am torn, hurt, weary, broken, angry and just plain sad.... I must keep the faith....I must keep the faith. My heart knows this - my head is the problem - Satan tries so hard to convince my head that my heart is wrong....
But the Lord will prevail.... to quote a section of the bible study from last night that truly inspired me and really helped - perhaps it will help you also!
"My inability to change my circumstances matters not one little whit. I don't care how long it will be before deliverance comes. It doesn't matter the length of the road I must walk. I don't care how hard the journey. I know my God will come for me! Shall I cave in to discouragement? Will I quit? NO! For I am convinced that in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Neither death nor life, no angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. I will not lose heart. My light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for me a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. Yes, the Lord will bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise His name! (adapted from Romans 8:38-39; 2 Cor 4:6-18 - Spiritual Warfare bible study)
Faith is the attitude that "I TRUST GOD NO MATTER WHAT, NO MATTER HOW LONG!"
Enough said - Amen!
Last night at bible study, I was reminded once again that God will deliver me(us) and I must keep the faith - even when I am torn, hurt, weary, broken, angry and just plain sad.... I must keep the faith....I must keep the faith. My heart knows this - my head is the problem - Satan tries so hard to convince my head that my heart is wrong....
But the Lord will prevail.... to quote a section of the bible study from last night that truly inspired me and really helped - perhaps it will help you also!
"My inability to change my circumstances matters not one little whit. I don't care how long it will be before deliverance comes. It doesn't matter the length of the road I must walk. I don't care how hard the journey. I know my God will come for me! Shall I cave in to discouragement? Will I quit? NO! For I am convinced that in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. Neither death nor life, no angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. I will not lose heart. My light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for me a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory. Yes, the Lord will bring my soul out of prison, that I may praise His name! (adapted from Romans 8:38-39; 2 Cor 4:6-18 - Spiritual Warfare bible study)
Faith is the attitude that "I TRUST GOD NO MATTER WHAT, NO MATTER HOW LONG!"
Enough said - Amen!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
How can I help?
I am pretty much never at a loss for words….(go figure) but right now I am struggling with what to say and what to do to help Coach Burns….you see I a fixer – a person who wants to fix things and restore balance – a person who thrives on unity and a person who does not mind carrying the load as long as I am able. That is why it breaks my heart to see a crossroads in his life – one that can’t be fixed by me.
To say that Coach Burns has had a couple of rough years is not accurate at all. It has been way more years that a couple – try a decade. One illness leads to another which leads to another and so on. Yet his is so young in age and that causes the mental heartache to surface also. He is at a crossroads in his life and needs support from his family, his loved ones, his friends, and most importantly HIS GOD. It is when we are at our weakest that Satan is lurking ready to take over and invade our minds. We CANNOT let that happen.
So again – I ask – How can I help?
1. I can pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and when I think that I have prayed enough, I can start praying all over again. What a wonderful way to talk to the Lord and some times it is with tears, others with anger, others with broken hearts, and sometimes laughter. I can pray and NO one can steal that away from me.
2. I can dive in the scriptures – I can surround myself and Coach Burns with uplifting bible verses and verses that offer the promise that things will be ok again. Our house is soon to be covered in sticky notes (glad they come in such cool colors – LOL).
3. I can love him like Jesus would – oh how I love Coach Burns – no one would doubt that for a second but to love him like Jesus loved is a goal that envelops me. Love him in the good, love him through the bad, the weak, the weary, the angry, the why me’s?, in the pain and the distress of these earthly circumstances….Yes I can love him like Jesus!
4. I can listen without judging the words that come from his mouth – knowing that hurt causes us to sometimes say discouraging things or negative outlooks. This will be very hard – as a fixer wants to fix and sometimes he just needs me to listen without trying to make it better.
5. I can stay healthy myself by eating right, getting enough rest, relaxing more and venting to my dear friends when the need arises. This will be difficult for me also but if this is part of what is needed to help Coach Burns then I can do it!
6. Finally and so very importantly – I can trust in what the Lord has promised! Below are just a few of my favorites:
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose
And perhaps my most favorite verse of all:
John 16:33
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Ok Lord, I am ready to help!
To say that Coach Burns has had a couple of rough years is not accurate at all. It has been way more years that a couple – try a decade. One illness leads to another which leads to another and so on. Yet his is so young in age and that causes the mental heartache to surface also. He is at a crossroads in his life and needs support from his family, his loved ones, his friends, and most importantly HIS GOD. It is when we are at our weakest that Satan is lurking ready to take over and invade our minds. We CANNOT let that happen.
So again – I ask – How can I help?
1. I can pray and pray and pray and pray and pray and when I think that I have prayed enough, I can start praying all over again. What a wonderful way to talk to the Lord and some times it is with tears, others with anger, others with broken hearts, and sometimes laughter. I can pray and NO one can steal that away from me.
2. I can dive in the scriptures – I can surround myself and Coach Burns with uplifting bible verses and verses that offer the promise that things will be ok again. Our house is soon to be covered in sticky notes (glad they come in such cool colors – LOL).
3. I can love him like Jesus would – oh how I love Coach Burns – no one would doubt that for a second but to love him like Jesus loved is a goal that envelops me. Love him in the good, love him through the bad, the weak, the weary, the angry, the why me’s?, in the pain and the distress of these earthly circumstances….Yes I can love him like Jesus!
4. I can listen without judging the words that come from his mouth – knowing that hurt causes us to sometimes say discouraging things or negative outlooks. This will be very hard – as a fixer wants to fix and sometimes he just needs me to listen without trying to make it better.
5. I can stay healthy myself by eating right, getting enough rest, relaxing more and venting to my dear friends when the need arises. This will be difficult for me also but if this is part of what is needed to help Coach Burns then I can do it!
6. Finally and so very importantly – I can trust in what the Lord has promised! Below are just a few of my favorites:
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Romans 8:28
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose
And perhaps my most favorite verse of all:
John 16:33
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”
Ok Lord, I am ready to help!
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