Levi's Bucket List

Hey everyone - this is Levi! I am taking a minute to write down the things that I still want to do before I meet Arthur at Rainbow Bridge! I know that this is hard on mom and dad and Ash and Lex but I am going to be ok! They tell me that I have a wonderful brother there waiting for me - Arthur - their very first bulldog - he will take good care of me until they join us someday!

So here it is - my bucket list

1. Eat more double cheeseburgers - Mom says that they are not good for me now but I know that she will give in and let me have some more. She really really loves me and she know how much I love a double cheeseburger!

2. Go to church(Sunday School) - My mom teaches a bunch of kool teenagers on Sunday mornings and I know that I can help in a lesson on unconditional love - she has to clear it with the pastor first but I believe that it will happen because I can teach without using any words - I know my mom loves these teens and I want to love on them too.

3. Go to the Quad with Lex and pick up chicks - you may not know this but I am a chick magnet - Lex and me together - there will be no stopping us - look out ladies!

4. Meet Ms. Ashley's Gabby - the new grand dog as my parents call her - she is a tiny yorkie and I know that she will love me! How can she resist? After all I am a bulldog and that is enough said. Oh and ride in Mr. Mike's new car - heard it was cool!

5. Lots of hugs and kisses everyday from Mom and Dad and Lex - this being sick thing has gotten me lots of extra attention - it is good for me and I believe that it is good for them also! This world needs a lot more hugging and kissing in my opinion!

6. Go to the park and have a picnic - I have not been to the park very much since I am only a 1 1/2 years old but it was so much fun! Mom bought me a new wagon and I cant wait to try it out so hopefully we will have a pretty day really soon!

7. Play ball - love those words - I love to play with my ball - I don't have much energy anymore but I still have my ball in sight most of the time! Mom and Dad keep buying them for me and I love it but the white one is still my favorite!

8. Go to work with Dad (Coach Burns) and met the football players! I will wear my Jemison shirt and harness - I love football and my dad! He is the greatest!

9. Go see the grandparents (Mimi & Grandpa & Grandma Burns) - they all love me and I am sure that they will sneak me some snacks! They love my parents and me so much!

10. Make sure that Mom and Dad know that I love them and I will be waiting for them at Rainbow Bridge with Arthur - I am so glad that he will be there to show me the way and take care of me till Mom and Dad make to heaven!

I don't know how long I have left down here (people you don't know how long you have either) but I do know that I have been loved and loved and loved and I will be OK! When my time comes, I know that Mom and Dad will cry but this is not the end of the story - I am Levi Malachi Burns and I am a lucky lucky dog!

Later dudes - hey mom whats for dinner?

The reality of it....Day 20

Daily we feed Levi the special food specifically for his kidney failure, we administer his meds in the morning and in the evening, we keep the water bowls filled to the brim, we make sure that he has his ball in sight at all times, we give SubQ fluids as directed by our vets and we watch his every move....constantly reassuring ourselves that he is getting better. Everyday we say he is getting better - he is holding his own!

But the reality of it is - he is not. The past couple of days we have noticed that he is having difficulty with the stairs - he use to could run right up them much faster than we could...now he seems clumsy and takes them one at a time after he has tried to run up and failed...heartbreaking again.

This morning - he was starving for his breakfast - took his meds and proceeded to start eating his morning wet food on top of the dry. We have started feeding him separate from Lil Ben and Annabelle because of the food being different so Coach Burns carried his bowl into a quiet room so that he could eat without interruption from the others. I watched from upstairs as I was hurrying to get ready for work...

Suddenly in the midst of eating - things changed quickly - suddenly Levi was flat on the floor rolling on his side- shaking, salivating, and urinating uncontrollably. The look in Coach Burns eyes stopped me in my tracks and I was distracted from Levi for a few moments as I knew in that second that Coach Burns realized as I did that he is not getting better.

The episode did not last very long - Coach Burns got him in his arms and loved him through it. I cleaned up all the mess fighting back the tears and in a few minutes Levi was Levi again almost...Coach Burns took him to his favorite spot downstairs with his ball and he was sleeping soundly when I left for work.

Coach Burns said Levi was back to his normal self when he left for work about an hour after me. Again, the tears flowed all the way to work as all of this is so heartbreaking!

The reality of acute renal failure is death - bottom line - when the quality of life is no longer for Levi - the time will come when the decision will have to be made. The Lord will show us when it is time and episodes like this morning just serve to remind us that the day is coming....

Appreciate each moment, love with all you have and thank the Lord for all your blessings - this is how we choose to life and how we choose to die and always on bended knee praising your name Lord.

Levi - the teacher

To say that we are busy is definitely an understatement - I barely spend any time at home between the two jobs and church seems as if I am only here to shower and sleep and make the list of things to do for the next day!

Levi is teaching me new things each day and I hate to say it but it was brought about because I know that my days with him are very limited. The past few mornings I have made it a point to snuggle with him and Lil Ben and Annabelle - play ball with him - check on him several times during the night...I now seem to be paying close attention to where he is at all times. Drinking it all in like an addict - loving him unconditionally similar to the way he loves us.

His poor little body is failing him and yet all he wants to do is please us, love us and enjoy us....WOW - I cant say the same thing about me when I feel terrible all I want is to feel better - forget about others just make me feel better.

A true picture of love - one of the few pictures here on earth that we see of unconditional love - I pray that you have found that kind of love with our Lord - He died for us - He knows the number of hairs on our head - He knew us when we were still in the womb - He loves us unconditional - He is faithful to forgive us and His grace and mercy is beyond measure and He blessed me with Levi - a little dog that has taught a busy middle aged woman how to appreciate the little things again!

Thank You Lord for blessing me with Levi and for the lessons I am learning from my time with him.

Let's play ball....

I am not a sports person - cant believe I said that outloud after all my husband is a high school coach. He loves football, basketball, baseball, hockey, racing...you name it...He is 100% sports fanatic. I am terribly uncoordinated - no rhythm - the one that was always picked last at recess..you get the picture. I watch sports with Coach Burns - go to all the games but know very little about it- I support his teams (with the exception of his favorite college team). But given the choice to watch sport or a good movie - give me the movie anyday!

I am not a morning person at all! I am grumpy and unsociable - irritable and hurried - always lacking sleep. Coach Burns has learned to not talk much of a morning for I have the tendency to snap at comments that normally would only get a chuckle. For years I have tried to wake up nice but most days it just takes too much effort!

However things may be changing - imagine that! You see there is a little bulldog named Levi that loves to play ball - loves loves loves to play ball! I have never seen anything like it! He has lots of balls but one favorite - a squeaky baseball - carries it with him throughout the house and into the yard. Always know where to find it when you ask him where it is...

Thank you Lord for blessing me today! Now let's play ball!!!
Today for the first time EVER of a morning - I found myself playing ball with Levi before leaving for work and I enjoyed it! I don't know how many more mornings he will feel like playing ball but I pray that this continues and I stop and take a few extra moments to play with him - it sure made me smile and I believe he was smiling also!

Levi and Sub Q fluids

Until this episode with Levi - I had never even heard of Sub Q fluids - now it is part of our life....right now every third day for three weeks and then every other day indefinitely ....Can I say - Oh my? I am used to the cleaning of the wrinkles, the wiping of the bottoms, the endless cleaning of the ears and eyes....I have gotten that down to a science but now this....Again Oh my!

For those of you who are wondering what I am talking about - here is a how to link of what we know have to do with Levi ... http://www.thirdstreetvet.com/nss-folder/cehandoutfiles/Subcutaneous%20Fluid%20Administration.htm

So last night - we got the fluids out and cleared the line - put on the needle - found us a spot on the rear to begin - He was excited and knew something was going to happen so we gave him his ball to chew on....Of course Coach Burns got to hold him and I got to do the dirty work - stick him with the needle and open the flow.....bless his little heart - he took it like a true trooper!

We sat there with him for what seems like a much longer time than actually was while the fluids proceeded to cause a bubble under his skin - about the size of your palm....once we have reached the designated amount - I pulled the needle out and pinched slightly to keep the fluids inside.

It look funny on his body but the doctors told us it would absorb quickly and it did...Levi handled it much better than we did - practice will make perfect so we should get pretty good at this in the next few weeks! Praying that the Sub Q fluids will give his kidneys some relief and that he will continue to feel better!

We know that unless something miraculous changes - our days are numbered with him even though he is so young. We have accepted that - we will do the doctoring and the cleaning, and preparing special food and whatever else is required of us to keep him comfortable because we love him - Like parents love their children, like families love each other...HE IS FAMILY! Thank you God for blessing us with our little ball boy!

Well with my soul.....

It is Sunday night about 10:00 pm and my house is so very quiet....Coach Burns is sleeping, Annabelle is sleeping, Lil Ben is sleeping and Levi is too....Quiet times like these are very scarce in our house! As I sit here typing, I hear the washing machine churning away with one of the multiple loads of the day...all is well at least for the moment.

Today we sang - "It Is Well With My Soul", a hymn that was written by a man in total despair over losing his family at sea - yet he found a peace to say it is well with my soul. Today on GFBC program - Bro. Kevin Hamm spoke of Job and all that he went through - none of which he brought on himself - yet he worshipped anyway.

To quote Beth Moore - sometimes you gotta praise first and feel it later! I have been there and done that. I have praised through the good times and the bad...I will continue to do so...One day - I pray that I will be able to say "it is well with my soul" while still on this earth...I am still a work in progress with a LONG way to go!

Tonight we sang my favorite song ever - What a day that will be
The words go like this:
There is coming a day,
When no heart aches shall come,
No more clouds in the sky,
No more tears to dim the eye,
All is peace forever more,
On that happy golden shore,
What a day, glorious day that will be.

What a day that will be,
When my Jesus I shall see,
And I look upon His face,
The One who saved me by His grace;
When He takes me by the hand,
And leads me through the Promised Land,
What a day, glorious day that will be.

There'll be no sorrow there,
No more burdens to bear,
No more sickness, no pain,
No more parting over there;
And forever I will be,
With the One who died for me,
What a day, glorious day that will be.

What a day that will be,
When my Jesus I shall see,
And I look upon His face,
The One who saved me by His grace;
When He takes me by the hand,
And leads me through the Promised Land,
What a day, glorious day that will be

Until He comes or takes me home, I pray this life down here can be well with my soul.

Levi and Listmaker Laurel

Yesterday Lil Ben had a complete bloodwork up because he was feeling bad - for those of you that don't know - Lil Ben is a full brother to Levi just a year and 1/2 older... Lil Ben is fine! Other than a little dehydration from a upset stomach - he is home and sleeping in his favorite chair as I type!

Levi got fluids tonight at the vets - Coach Burns and I were instructed on how to do this at home....hopefully we will be able to do it without much trouble. This leads us to our new life of meds and special diets and care!

In case you don't know, bulldogs are pretty high maintenance dogs to begin with - they need their wrinkles cleaned daily, theirs ears cleaned, their butts wiped, their eyes and noses care for.....we have a routine for this and they actually don't mind it at all...well except for Annabelle (she usually tries to sneak off)

Now we have to prepare special food for Levi - give meds every morning and every evening - some he likes - some he does not at all especially the liquid that taste like chalky mint...he fights when we have to give him this twice a day...

Now fluids - three times a week to start for three weeks - it will take both Coach Burns and I to do this - can we say quality time with a smile???

So how do we fit all of this into our busy schedule and not forget anything?? Well never fear Listmaker Laurel is here! I have already sat down tonight and marked up the calendar for the next month -making sure that Mr. Levi has all that he needs and we don't plan anything to conflict with his meds!

I knew one day that my obsession for list making would come in handy - now I know why! To everything there is a season.....praying for the next season in Levi's life to be as happy as possible!

Coming soon - Levi's Bucket List with the help of Listmaker Laurel.....laughing laughing laughing!