Monday, February 13, 2012

The reality of it....Day 20

Daily we feed Levi the special food specifically for his kidney failure, we administer his meds in the morning and in the evening, we keep the water bowls filled to the brim, we make sure that he has his ball in sight at all times, we give SubQ fluids as directed by our vets and we watch his every move....constantly reassuring ourselves that he is getting better. Everyday we say he is getting better - he is holding his own!

But the reality of it is - he is not. The past couple of days we have noticed that he is having difficulty with the stairs - he use to could run right up them much faster than we he seems clumsy and takes them one at a time after he has tried to run up and failed...heartbreaking again.

This morning - he was starving for his breakfast - took his meds and proceeded to start eating his morning wet food on top of the dry. We have started feeding him separate from Lil Ben and Annabelle because of the food being different so Coach Burns carried his bowl into a quiet room so that he could eat without interruption from the others. I watched from upstairs as I was hurrying to get ready for work...

Suddenly in the midst of eating - things changed quickly - suddenly Levi was flat on the floor rolling on his side- shaking, salivating, and urinating uncontrollably. The look in Coach Burns eyes stopped me in my tracks and I was distracted from Levi for a few moments as I knew in that second that Coach Burns realized as I did that he is not getting better.

The episode did not last very long - Coach Burns got him in his arms and loved him through it. I cleaned up all the mess fighting back the tears and in a few minutes Levi was Levi again almost...Coach Burns took him to his favorite spot downstairs with his ball and he was sleeping soundly when I left for work.

Coach Burns said Levi was back to his normal self when he left for work about an hour after me. Again, the tears flowed all the way to work as all of this is so heartbreaking!

The reality of acute renal failure is death - bottom line - when the quality of life is no longer for Levi - the time will come when the decision will have to be made. The Lord will show us when it is time and episodes like this morning just serve to remind us that the day is coming....

Appreciate each moment, love with all you have and thank the Lord for all your blessings - this is how we choose to life and how we choose to die and always on bended knee praising your name Lord.

1 comment:

  1. I know how helpless you must feel, and with it comes the feeling that your heart is being ripped from your body. I'm sure that Levi feels loved by you and just his sheer existence shows how much this Bully boy loves you. Just remember that God only gives us one breath at a time, all of His creatures are only on loan to us, and one day will be called home to be with Him. Wish things were better for you.